Why do girls get hung up on guys who are bad for them? Seriously. I am a girl, and I've been that girl, and I got out, and I still don't freaking get it. He doesn't trust you, he isn't nice to you, he doesn't respect you, and then when you finally think that you're going to leave, he brings out the roses, takes you to dinner and makes you laugh. "Of course I love him, why can't he be like this all the time, no one else is going to love me, I guess it's not that bad, okay I'll stay." Yeah, because that makes sense. When you see your friends going through this crap, it all seems so clear to you. "Dump him! Leave his sorry ass! He's crushing your dreams and making you feel like you're worthless! It's not true! Just get away!" Yeah, that's what you tell your friend. To not let a man hold her back. But what about you? I've watched my friends go through this, I've watched them tell each other to get out, or that they're crazy, I've seen it all go downhill. It doesn't make sense.
It all comes down to self worth, but you can't run from yourself. You'll be with someone lame if you don't like yourself. You'll marry the first guy who makes you feel special if you don't pay any attention to it. Getting out of a bad relationship will either crush you or liberate you. The crushed ones slowly drag themselves back up, see what was really going on, and move forward. The liberated ones find somebody new, and start making stupid decisions right away. Relationships are tricky.
I think that my favorite way that I've heard it was in the book "The five love languages". Many variations of that book, all good, nay, fantastic. Love them. Anyhow, in the book it explains that during the first 6 months of any relationship is called the honeymoon phase (as if we all didn't already know that!) and in the honeymoon phase, you do not make ANY rash decisions. Because you are in a state of euphoric obsession, of which your partner can do no wrong. He's amazing, he treats me right, he takes me to dinner, he buys me things, he listens to me, my parents love him -OR she's so funny, she's so classy, she's not a bitch, she's the only one who's ever made me feel like this, she's so much fun. You get the idea?
Not to say that those things go away completely after six months, but you finally understand each other. Some days you get under peoples skin, God forbid that you move in together, you know everything sooner. Money opinions break out, one of you spends more than the other, one of you likes to go out more than the other, one of you cleans their clothes more often than the other, one yells more than the other, one eats totally different food than the other, one watches more tv than the other, one drinks more than the other, one expects more of the other. There is a lot of ground work that has to be covered before you can be truly happy together -and if you're reading this thinking that you don't have any of these problems, then I hate to break it to you- but you either haven't been with your person long enough yet, or worse you're not talking with your partner enough. Worse than that, maybe you have no differences. Maybe you are content to do everything together and to never speak with other people, maybe you are stuck in your own little love bubble and have no idea. It will all come out eventually. Love hurts, love's hard, and love isn't always pretty. But it is wonderful, and it is worth it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Good luck guys.
Love,
Alice
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Let go.
The tighter you hold on to yesterday, the faster it will slip through your fingers.
Seriously. I know a girl who hates everything, so obsessed with "the good old days" that she refuses to have any more good days ever. Hates her job, stays with her boyfriend not because she loves him but because he pays for stuff, hates her parents for getting divorced, hates everything for not working in her favor. But from the outside looking in, she's ok. Not ok on the inside, I'm not belittling depression in any way, because I've been there, and it's terrifying.not terrifying in the sense that it's what you feel, but terrifying in the sense that you cannot get out.it is your world. It is everything. It it's your outlook, your way of life, your permanent perspective of pessimism. One bad day leads to one bad thing leads to more bad things leads to more bad days, leads to despair.next thing you know, things are spiraling out of control in a hurricane of depression, and you're in the eye of the storm.everyone is on the outside, running from it, redirecting it, chasing it, trying to help - but you don't even realize it, because you're in the eye. You're sitting in a crowded room full of people who live you and you feel all alone. Helplessness all around. I've been there, and it's hard. And giving up sounds like not just a good option, but the only option. It fits from the back of your mind, to the front. A little voice, to your voice. Whispering, to screaming. It's horrible. People don't realize how horrible, until it happens to them, or it's too late.
But there is an escape. It's not fun, it's not easy, and it usually involves a slew of bad decisions that cause even more growing pains. But at least then you're starting to grow. You wake up, you drag yourself out of bed, you get some breakfast to go with that coffee, you get a better job, you see your friends every other day, you write down how you're feeling, and you make the ultimate choice to refuse to look back.you make a new life.you don't forget, but you don't let your past ruin you, because you finally start to realize that you're worth more than that.
It took me 8 months to climb out, to be better. 8 months, 2 equally depressed friends too battle it with me, a large number of regrets, and 1 final decision, that my life was my own. That Shit happens, sometimes you're gonna step in it and sometimes people are going to throw it at your face.you get over it, you move on, you figure out your passions, you hold your true friends close to you - and you wake up one day to realize that even if life isn't perfect, you're going to be ok.
Life isn't about clinging to the past, it's about creating your future. Always remember that. The best is yet to come.
Never, ever, give up.
Love,
Alice
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
God's gonna cut you down.
Why.
Why am I not good enough.
Why can't I fix everything.
Why do I feel useless and unwanted.
Why do I let it affect me so much.
Why do I feel like he's going to find new people to talk to because he's disgusted with me.
Why can't I work harder.
Why doesn't he care.
Why don't things get better no matter how hard I work.
Why do I feel like no one can hear me.
Why am I not happy.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Hypocracy at it's finest.
Don't you just love it when people forget that you're in the back office, and you learn all kinds of things that they didn't want you to know? Like what an asshole they are? Ah well, I already knew that. Grr.
But for real, this is more than just the annoyance of having a boss who bitches about everyone behind their back. Because, he owns the business, so who cares. His lot in life is running his business, no matter how many people he tramples in doing so. (Yeah, fantastic business owner here people.) It's that he goes to church, that he has a family, that his wife is awesome, that he has been in fact given a 2nd chance at life. And he does not act like it. He goes to church and then completely disgraces everyone who does not go to his church. He refuses to discipline his children, who run rampant because he never does things with them. Because that's the mother's job. The mother whom he bitches about constantly to workers, customers, and anyone who will listen. It's beyond rude, it's sexist and cruel. Let's just say if my fiance ever treated me like that, he wouldn't be my fiance. And the whole 2nd chance at life thing? You would think that having been given a new lease on life would encourage you to rearrange your priorities, to spend more time with your family, to not harass people. I don't know, maybe that's just me. It's infuriating.
And the worst part, is how many people I know just like that. They say that they love their wives and then flirt with other women in front of them. They go to church and then judge instead of walking with Jesus. They say that they love their family and then ignore them. It boggles my mind.
I hate hypocracy. I hate people who don't live what they preach. Who judge and push and force their way. People who will hate you for dressing a certain way but then go and sleep with everyone. People who will hate your music but will live the life your "bad music" portrays. People who think it's perfectly fine to say one thing and act another. Or worse, in front of their children. Therefore creating more little hypocrites Irritating little bastards.
I think it's wrong to do those things. I think it's worse to blatantly judge someone to their face, and then expect them to do something for you. People deserve better than that.
Love,
Alice
But for real, this is more than just the annoyance of having a boss who bitches about everyone behind their back. Because, he owns the business, so who cares. His lot in life is running his business, no matter how many people he tramples in doing so. (Yeah, fantastic business owner here people.) It's that he goes to church, that he has a family, that his wife is awesome, that he has been in fact given a 2nd chance at life. And he does not act like it. He goes to church and then completely disgraces everyone who does not go to his church. He refuses to discipline his children, who run rampant because he never does things with them. Because that's the mother's job. The mother whom he bitches about constantly to workers, customers, and anyone who will listen. It's beyond rude, it's sexist and cruel. Let's just say if my fiance ever treated me like that, he wouldn't be my fiance. And the whole 2nd chance at life thing? You would think that having been given a new lease on life would encourage you to rearrange your priorities, to spend more time with your family, to not harass people. I don't know, maybe that's just me. It's infuriating.
And the worst part, is how many people I know just like that. They say that they love their wives and then flirt with other women in front of them. They go to church and then judge instead of walking with Jesus. They say that they love their family and then ignore them. It boggles my mind.
I hate hypocracy. I hate people who don't live what they preach. Who judge and push and force their way. People who will hate you for dressing a certain way but then go and sleep with everyone. People who will hate your music but will live the life your "bad music" portrays. People who think it's perfectly fine to say one thing and act another. Or worse, in front of their children. Therefore creating more little hypocrites Irritating little bastards.
I think it's wrong to do those things. I think it's worse to blatantly judge someone to their face, and then expect them to do something for you. People deserve better than that.
Love,
Alice
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Live simply, travel often.
I feel as though I am climbing an enormous mountain. (As apposed to, ya know, a really small mountain :P )
I feel like every time I think I'm at the top, the fog clears and I see where I need to go next, to keep trying. To not give up. But still to hope that everything works out. That the mountain top will become narrower and I will be able to "Trim the fat" on some of my life. No more little minamum wage jobs that scrape you by at $50 a week, no more friends that don't return your phone calls, no more duct taping your flip flops back together because you don't have time to go to the store and get new ones. I want all of those things to go away, that would be lovely. Just to work two jobs that I am in control of, that strain my mind but keep me entertained and fulfilled at the same time. To make a decent living, not to live in a decadent house, but to live simply and travel often. To be able to pick up the phone and have a good heart to heart with friends that truly miss talking to me, and to just leave the other ones be. To go and buy some damn shoes when I need to, that would be cool.
I'll get there right? Sure, it'll happen, I just have to keep climbing up that mountain. Everything will fall into place, with the right amount of effort and prayer. But in the meantime, this could get verrrrrry interesting!
Love,
Alice
I feel like every time I think I'm at the top, the fog clears and I see where I need to go next, to keep trying. To not give up. But still to hope that everything works out. That the mountain top will become narrower and I will be able to "Trim the fat" on some of my life. No more little minamum wage jobs that scrape you by at $50 a week, no more friends that don't return your phone calls, no more duct taping your flip flops back together because you don't have time to go to the store and get new ones. I want all of those things to go away, that would be lovely. Just to work two jobs that I am in control of, that strain my mind but keep me entertained and fulfilled at the same time. To make a decent living, not to live in a decadent house, but to live simply and travel often. To be able to pick up the phone and have a good heart to heart with friends that truly miss talking to me, and to just leave the other ones be. To go and buy some damn shoes when I need to, that would be cool.
I'll get there right? Sure, it'll happen, I just have to keep climbing up that mountain. Everything will fall into place, with the right amount of effort and prayer. But in the meantime, this could get verrrrrry interesting!
Love,
Alice
Thursday, April 11, 2013
In a Barbie world.
Sometimes I just want to walk up to people and shake them. Just knock some sense into them. Wishing they wouldn't hide who they really are.
It isn’t about how many of your bones we can see, if your skirt is short or your shirt is sheer. It’s not. It’s about how you feel. Beauty is the smile that you wear when you walk down the street, the way you treat people, the things that you believe are important. The happiest people are not the ones who are starving themselves, they’re the one’s who are helping feed starving children in their hometown or in Africa because they believe it’s important one way or another. They’re not the one’s with perfect hair, they’re the one’s with crazy windblown hair because they just had the time of their life camping in the outdoors or riding rollercoasters or horseback riding. It’s not about skipping meals and showing skin, it’s about being you. Enjoying life. Smiling, laughing, being with your friends. The perfect guy won’t be looking for a Barbie, he’ll want to have fun. He’ll know your beauty when he sees it. it doesn’t matter what color your hair is, the tone of your skin, how much you weigh, how tall you are or how much money you have. Just be you, because that’s who you’re supposed to be.
Love,
Alice
It isn’t about how many of your bones we can see, if your skirt is short or your shirt is sheer. It’s not. It’s about how you feel. Beauty is the smile that you wear when you walk down the street, the way you treat people, the things that you believe are important. The happiest people are not the ones who are starving themselves, they’re the one’s who are helping feed starving children in their hometown or in Africa because they believe it’s important one way or another. They’re not the one’s with perfect hair, they’re the one’s with crazy windblown hair because they just had the time of their life camping in the outdoors or riding rollercoasters or horseback riding. It’s not about skipping meals and showing skin, it’s about being you. Enjoying life. Smiling, laughing, being with your friends. The perfect guy won’t be looking for a Barbie, he’ll want to have fun. He’ll know your beauty when he sees it. it doesn’t matter what color your hair is, the tone of your skin, how much you weigh, how tall you are or how much money you have. Just be you, because that’s who you’re supposed to be.
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Always choose waiting over settling, for the latter breeds misery.
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but rather a way of travelling."
Oh how I wish I could remember that more often! I may possible be the most impatient person that I know. Followed closely by everyone else that I know. I am not content to sit back and wait for things to happen, neither am I content to work and work and work and see no results.
That being said, when I'm not at work, I see it. When I'm out living life, spending time with friends and family and my fiance, doing what I love, I can't help but wish that those moments could last longer. That all of my little people could stay little, that I could keep all of the friends I have in one place, that my dog will live forever.
Little wishes, things that will fade away over time. Wishing that my friends could realize what they have before it's gone. Wishing that they'd dump lousy boyfriends and be happy again. Wishing that they would open their heart to how happy they could be if they only realized what truly mattered. Because in 50 years, I am not going to look back on my life and wish that I had more jobs. And most likely, neither are any of them.
And if you're miserable and you think that things will never get better, that's not entirely true either. Things will get better, you just have to keep working steady at it. One day you're just praying that things will get better, and the next day, it's happening. Simple as that. But if you're afraid that things will only get worse, that you'll lose what little sanity you have left, so you hold onto the lousy job and the angry boyfriend, things will never get better. Never settle for anything less than you deserve, and don't let anyone ever make you feel that you don't deserve what you want. If you want the college degree, make it happen. If you want to own a home, hop to it. If you want to get married someday but can't see yourself doing it with the guy (or girl) that you're with, then why are you wasting your time? No, these aren't things that will happen tomorrow, but if you want them, then you know what your end goal is. Focus on that. Let that get you through the day. Rely on the people who support you in what you want, not who only drag you down because they're not getting what they want either. Don't let negativity win.
Yes, I know life sucks sometimes, and it's hard, and it's a lot of work, and it's not always fun. But you're not here forever, you're not going to settle. You're going to go places. So read a book, dance around your room, watch a comedy, make out with your boyfriend, laugh with your friends, and just enjoy the little moments while they're here. Because happiness isn't a destination, it's a way of life.
"You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes and you can go wherever you choose. Things could happen and quite often do, to people as brainy and footsy as you!" -Dr. Suess
love,
Alice
Oh how I wish I could remember that more often! I may possible be the most impatient person that I know. Followed closely by everyone else that I know. I am not content to sit back and wait for things to happen, neither am I content to work and work and work and see no results.
That being said, when I'm not at work, I see it. When I'm out living life, spending time with friends and family and my fiance, doing what I love, I can't help but wish that those moments could last longer. That all of my little people could stay little, that I could keep all of the friends I have in one place, that my dog will live forever.
Little wishes, things that will fade away over time. Wishing that my friends could realize what they have before it's gone. Wishing that they'd dump lousy boyfriends and be happy again. Wishing that they would open their heart to how happy they could be if they only realized what truly mattered. Because in 50 years, I am not going to look back on my life and wish that I had more jobs. And most likely, neither are any of them.
And if you're miserable and you think that things will never get better, that's not entirely true either. Things will get better, you just have to keep working steady at it. One day you're just praying that things will get better, and the next day, it's happening. Simple as that. But if you're afraid that things will only get worse, that you'll lose what little sanity you have left, so you hold onto the lousy job and the angry boyfriend, things will never get better. Never settle for anything less than you deserve, and don't let anyone ever make you feel that you don't deserve what you want. If you want the college degree, make it happen. If you want to own a home, hop to it. If you want to get married someday but can't see yourself doing it with the guy (or girl) that you're with, then why are you wasting your time? No, these aren't things that will happen tomorrow, but if you want them, then you know what your end goal is. Focus on that. Let that get you through the day. Rely on the people who support you in what you want, not who only drag you down because they're not getting what they want either. Don't let negativity win.
Yes, I know life sucks sometimes, and it's hard, and it's a lot of work, and it's not always fun. But you're not here forever, you're not going to settle. You're going to go places. So read a book, dance around your room, watch a comedy, make out with your boyfriend, laugh with your friends, and just enjoy the little moments while they're here. Because happiness isn't a destination, it's a way of life.
"You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes and you can go wherever you choose. Things could happen and quite often do, to people as brainy and footsy as you!" -Dr. Suess
love,
Alice
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Too young, too broke, too happy, too desperate.
Fucking bitches.
So I'm getting married, right? Not because I want someone to take care of me forever. Not because I'm pregnant. Not because we live together. Not for a million other judgmental reasons that people are pulling out of their ass. Is it bad that I have a witty response to their totally inappropriate and intrusive questions?
What about the normal annoying questions? Can I see the ring, how's he propose, when's the wedding, how'd you meet, are you excited? Followed promptly by awww I'm so happy for you.
Seriously? Can I have more of that? More yay and less nay?
Who in their right mind thinks it's okay to ask these questions:
So when's the baby due?
Aw that's too bad, you had your whole life ahead of you.
To so-and-so? Or the other guy? Wait, who are you with again?
Why bother?
You're making a big mistake.
I hate my husband, don't get married.
That's a bad idea, you're going to regret it. So can I come to the wedding?
You're just going to get divorced.
Weddings are expensive, I thought you were too cheap to get married.
I can think of other girls who would be happier to marry him.
You're so lucky you're getting married, then you'll never have to work again.
Well at least if you get fired or something you can always divorce him and live off of alimony money.
But what if you find someone else? You're like, stuck with this guy if you marry him.
I always figured he'd find someone better than you.
No, not all of those are questions, some of them are just asinine statements of their unwelcome opinions. I'd love to say that that's it, but there's more. I just don't have any desire to relive them. Those are from extended family, friends I had in high school, unhappy coworkers, and the majority of them are from people in a church. Like at church.
What. The. Fuck.
Needless to say we're having an itty bitty wedding with happy, close friends only.
They don't understand, they're not in my life, they don't know my life inside and out. They weren't there for the precise, tiny, perfect moments that made me fall in love with the man that I'm fully assured that I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man that won me over with his smile and his humor and his dog. The man that I go adventuring with, the man that buys me cool whip when I'm miserable and hate everything, the man that watches Zombie movies with me, that goes shooting with me, that encourages me and makes me happy, the man who happens to be my best friend. For whom my love never strays, never falters, never believes anything other than the truth in him, for no matter what happens, no matter what people assume, no matter where we end up, we will end up there together. Because he is the one.
So everyone else can get over themselves.
Love,
Alice
So I'm getting married, right? Not because I want someone to take care of me forever. Not because I'm pregnant. Not because we live together. Not for a million other judgmental reasons that people are pulling out of their ass. Is it bad that I have a witty response to their totally inappropriate and intrusive questions?
What about the normal annoying questions? Can I see the ring, how's he propose, when's the wedding, how'd you meet, are you excited? Followed promptly by awww I'm so happy for you.
Seriously? Can I have more of that? More yay and less nay?
Who in their right mind thinks it's okay to ask these questions:
So when's the baby due?
Aw that's too bad, you had your whole life ahead of you.
To so-and-so? Or the other guy? Wait, who are you with again?
Why bother?
You're making a big mistake.
I hate my husband, don't get married.
That's a bad idea, you're going to regret it. So can I come to the wedding?
You're just going to get divorced.
Weddings are expensive, I thought you were too cheap to get married.
I can think of other girls who would be happier to marry him.
You're so lucky you're getting married, then you'll never have to work again.
Well at least if you get fired or something you can always divorce him and live off of alimony money.
But what if you find someone else? You're like, stuck with this guy if you marry him.
I always figured he'd find someone better than you.
No, not all of those are questions, some of them are just asinine statements of their unwelcome opinions. I'd love to say that that's it, but there's more. I just don't have any desire to relive them. Those are from extended family, friends I had in high school, unhappy coworkers, and the majority of them are from people in a church. Like at church.
What. The. Fuck.
Needless to say we're having an itty bitty wedding with happy, close friends only.
They don't understand, they're not in my life, they don't know my life inside and out. They weren't there for the precise, tiny, perfect moments that made me fall in love with the man that I'm fully assured that I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man that won me over with his smile and his humor and his dog. The man that I go adventuring with, the man that buys me cool whip when I'm miserable and hate everything, the man that watches Zombie movies with me, that goes shooting with me, that encourages me and makes me happy, the man who happens to be my best friend. For whom my love never strays, never falters, never believes anything other than the truth in him, for no matter what happens, no matter what people assume, no matter where we end up, we will end up there together. Because he is the one.
So everyone else can get over themselves.
Love,
Alice
Change.
I've been around the block enough times to know that you can't expect things to stay the same way forever. That friends will come and go whether you're kicking their lazy ass out or begging them to stay, that the control you think you have over circumstances is just a grand illusion built up by your mind to make you feel better about the choices that you made. Because everything is where it's supposed to be, right? Sure. I'd like to think so. I'd like to think that I'm paying my dues and that by the time I have a batch of my own hyper-confused, desperate children, that they'll wonder if I ever didn't have it all together. A girl can dream, right?
The one nice thing about change, is when it actually changes for the better. When you meet a new friend who reminds you what it's like to chill out with someone who doesn't know all of your dark secrets, but you'd like to think that if they knew, they still wouldn't judge you. The kind of friends that you can still get excited about things with, instead of mentally calculating how much each adventure is going to cost or where you're going to have to save their ass from this time. Friends that are there for you as much as you are for them, because lets face it; it sucks to help a friend all weekend, and then have them not return your calls when you're sitting at home sobbing because something went wrong. Or everything is wrong. Or someone died. You get my jist.
I'm aware that life is supposed to be full of constant reevaluation, that jobs and interests will change an whatnot, that the shitty jobs won't last forever, and the good ones might just get better. That adversity will challenge your character, and hopefully build it into a better one. A more faithful, loving, confident one.
Change is hard, but I feel like I need a lot more of it right now, and I'm praying and praying, and I see it happening little by little, but I'm still left wanting. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably. I sure feel like one.
Here's to things getting better, little by little
Love,
Alice
The one nice thing about change, is when it actually changes for the better. When you meet a new friend who reminds you what it's like to chill out with someone who doesn't know all of your dark secrets, but you'd like to think that if they knew, they still wouldn't judge you. The kind of friends that you can still get excited about things with, instead of mentally calculating how much each adventure is going to cost or where you're going to have to save their ass from this time. Friends that are there for you as much as you are for them, because lets face it; it sucks to help a friend all weekend, and then have them not return your calls when you're sitting at home sobbing because something went wrong. Or everything is wrong. Or someone died. You get my jist.
I'm aware that life is supposed to be full of constant reevaluation, that jobs and interests will change an whatnot, that the shitty jobs won't last forever, and the good ones might just get better. That adversity will challenge your character, and hopefully build it into a better one. A more faithful, loving, confident one.
Change is hard, but I feel like I need a lot more of it right now, and I'm praying and praying, and I see it happening little by little, but I'm still left wanting. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably. I sure feel like one.
Here's to things getting better, little by little
Love,
Alice
Friday, February 22, 2013
Have-it-all Ln
Why hello blog, long time no see
It's not that I've forgotten about you (really, I haven't, promise) it's just that life has been crazy. I know, bitch bitch bitch. Is that all I do? If bitching was a competetive sport I'd be an olympic bitcher. Or maybe that's what they should call famous dog breeders, is that such a thing? Idk.
Anyhow, I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep, I think. And when I think, I think too much. And when I think too much, I naturally assume that everyone wants to know about all of my inner-babble, hence, ze blog. Full of babble and thinkage.
Right now, for instance, I am wondering if I really can have it all. I know, the "American dream" and all that jazz, of course I can have it all. Right? Sure, why not? Eh, cause life gets in the way. Somewhere on that one track mindset to "have-it-all lane", I get sidetracked onto "I'll-get-around-to-it avenue", take a left down "Work-until-I-forget-my-name street" and sooner or later I end up lost on "where-the-hell-am-I-and-how-the-hell-do-I-get-where-I-want-to-be boulevard". And what do I find there? A traffic jam. A traffic jam of all the other little rat racers trying to get to work, to pay their bills, to clear their name, to obliterate their debt, smothering out their dreams with a crushing immediate reality. A reality where dreamers snatch and fight over every small time promotion disguised as "opportunity" and the true dreamers think they've found an ext off of this godforsaken street, but really it's just a dark alley where they get mugged, cheated, stripped of all dignity and thrown back out into the street like a starving dog. Beaten back into the shape that the government truly wants you to be in: dirty little working rat shape.
Didn't I paint you a beautiful picture? Dirty little working rats, lost. But I have faith, that once I pay my dues on this fugly little boulevard, I can bring my dreams out into the open and no longer be lost. Someday I'll be able to make it to "have-it-all lane" and it won't be because I'm retiring in my little broken old rat body, it will be because I have pushed myself to be a better and stronger person, to turn my dreams into a reality and get rid of all the rest!
If you are one of the few who truly dream, don't ever let that go <3
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Why, Hello February.
Where did January go? Like seriously, WTF. I had all kinds of big plans and whoosh! All gone. Ah well, here I go, jumping back into being a crazy full time workaholic, so lets see how that goes.
Well, the iconic birthday has come to pass, and it was all kinds of ups and downs. Mostly, it had the potential to be completely awful that was being battled out by my fiance and four small children who were determined to make it the best birthday ever. It was very sweet of them.
I feel like last week it was New Years, but no, that was five weeks ago. Is my mind going crazy on me? Is my schedule too busy? Am I just losing track of everything? Probably some sort of combination of the three. I hope that your day is half as busy and twice as fun as mine!
Love,
Alice
Well, the iconic birthday has come to pass, and it was all kinds of ups and downs. Mostly, it had the potential to be completely awful that was being battled out by my fiance and four small children who were determined to make it the best birthday ever. It was very sweet of them.
I feel like last week it was New Years, but no, that was five weeks ago. Is my mind going crazy on me? Is my schedule too busy? Am I just losing track of everything? Probably some sort of combination of the three. I hope that your day is half as busy and twice as fun as mine!
Love,
Alice
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