What is love?

Love.

To some people it’s a myth, a common object of disappointment, something that you can’t trust. Something easily defeated by illness, disaster and even simple human nature. But it wasn’t meant to provide immunity from fate or grief or pain, in fact it often is the cause of these things.

To others love is fun, simple, something you wear on your sleeve and take wherever you will that day. It’s different for everyone, but one thing’s for sure, it’s more than a feeling or a promise, more than a song you hear on the radio or a Nicholas Sparks novel -it’s a place in your heart. And if you leave your heart open, love will always find it’s way home.

So many people are confused, pained and even desperate. But trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with. Whatever happens, never be reckless with other people’s hearts and don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. That’s not love. That’s not to say you won’t get your heart broken. I’ve come to find that nearly everybody gets their heart broken at least once. You fall in love with someone and then suddenly it's over.  And it sucks, but you learn from it. In the beginning you learn to think that all good things end, that you can’t trust people and that sometimes lies are the worst possible weapons. To an extent those things are true, they teach you to protect yourself. Things you can’t possibly learn from anything except personal experience. You build defensive walls around your heart, you play your cards safe and give up easily. You pick up the pieces and put them away and swear you’ll never let it happen again.

Then something crazy happens. You actually fall again, but it’s better, because you know how to avoid some of the pain, you’ve learned, you know who you are a little more. You don’t let people take advantage of you the same way. Because broken hearts can’t be fixed by time. They can be numbed by time, but they have to be healed by someone who wants them to heal even more than you do. You learn that everything happens for a reason, that maybe the answers are more simple than you expected and that taking chances isn‘t as horrible as you remember. It‘s just life. In the words of Dr. Suess: “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

For most, the hard part is jumping into love. Standing on the edge looking down and wondering if it’s really worth what you might possibly go through before you hit the ground. God forbid you have to climb your way back to where you already were. What they don’t realize is that it doesn’t matter what will happen when you hit the ground, if you stumble, if you crash, if someone catches you or if you land on your feet. Someone will always be there to help you back up on your feet and moving forward again. What matters is how you spend the freefall. Make that time worthwhile, so that no matter how it ends, you wouldn’t trade that time for anything. That time makes us who we are, carves us into who we are supposed to be more than any other experience. Many things in life will catch your eye, very few will truly catch your heart. Don’t regret things that make you smile, and if the worst should happen, remember to learn from the tears that follow. So what is love? The exact definition? There really isn’t one. It’s different for each of us… That, I think, is what they mean by “Love conquers all.” It doesn’t fix everything, but it gives us hope, courage, passion, joy and integrity in our lives where there was none before.

And it's true. Because even with all the pain and suffering and emotional shit I've been through, somehow I've found real love, with an amazing man who makes me want to be a better person every day. Who makes me feel beautiful and needed and wonderful even when I don't believe want to believe it.  Who I can be myself with and have fun with even if we're doing nothing.  The one person who I am willing to spend the rest of my life getting to know a little better each day, with all my heart. So don’t frown, because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.

“Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride” -Gary Allen.

Love,
Alice