Don't you just love it when people forget that you're in the back office, and you learn all kinds of things that they didn't want you to know? Like what an asshole they are? Ah well, I already knew that. Grr.
But for real, this is more than just the annoyance of having a boss who bitches about everyone behind their back. Because, he owns the business, so who cares. His lot in life is running his business, no matter how many people he tramples in doing so. (Yeah, fantastic business owner here people.) It's that he goes to church, that he has a family, that his wife is awesome, that he has been in fact given a 2nd chance at life. And he does not act like it. He goes to church and then completely disgraces everyone who does not go to his church. He refuses to discipline his children, who run rampant because he never does things with them. Because that's the mother's job. The mother whom he bitches about constantly to workers, customers, and anyone who will listen. It's beyond rude, it's sexist and cruel. Let's just say if my fiance ever treated me like that, he wouldn't be my fiance. And the whole 2nd chance at life thing? You would think that having been given a new lease on life would encourage you to rearrange your priorities, to spend more time with your family, to not harass people. I don't know, maybe that's just me. It's infuriating.
And the worst part, is how many people I know just like that. They say that they love their wives and then flirt with other women in front of them. They go to church and then judge instead of walking with Jesus. They say that they love their family and then ignore them. It boggles my mind.
I hate hypocracy. I hate people who don't live what they preach. Who judge and push and force their way. People who will hate you for dressing a certain way but then go and sleep with everyone. People who will hate your music but will live the life your "bad music" portrays. People who think it's perfectly fine to say one thing and act another. Or worse, in front of their children. Therefore creating more little hypocrites Irritating little bastards.
I think it's wrong to do those things. I think it's worse to blatantly judge someone to their face, and then expect them to do something for you. People deserve better than that.
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Live simply, travel often.
I feel as though I am climbing an enormous mountain. (As apposed to, ya know, a really small mountain :P )
I feel like every time I think I'm at the top, the fog clears and I see where I need to go next, to keep trying. To not give up. But still to hope that everything works out. That the mountain top will become narrower and I will be able to "Trim the fat" on some of my life. No more little minamum wage jobs that scrape you by at $50 a week, no more friends that don't return your phone calls, no more duct taping your flip flops back together because you don't have time to go to the store and get new ones. I want all of those things to go away, that would be lovely. Just to work two jobs that I am in control of, that strain my mind but keep me entertained and fulfilled at the same time. To make a decent living, not to live in a decadent house, but to live simply and travel often. To be able to pick up the phone and have a good heart to heart with friends that truly miss talking to me, and to just leave the other ones be. To go and buy some damn shoes when I need to, that would be cool.
I'll get there right? Sure, it'll happen, I just have to keep climbing up that mountain. Everything will fall into place, with the right amount of effort and prayer. But in the meantime, this could get verrrrrry interesting!
Love,
Alice
I feel like every time I think I'm at the top, the fog clears and I see where I need to go next, to keep trying. To not give up. But still to hope that everything works out. That the mountain top will become narrower and I will be able to "Trim the fat" on some of my life. No more little minamum wage jobs that scrape you by at $50 a week, no more friends that don't return your phone calls, no more duct taping your flip flops back together because you don't have time to go to the store and get new ones. I want all of those things to go away, that would be lovely. Just to work two jobs that I am in control of, that strain my mind but keep me entertained and fulfilled at the same time. To make a decent living, not to live in a decadent house, but to live simply and travel often. To be able to pick up the phone and have a good heart to heart with friends that truly miss talking to me, and to just leave the other ones be. To go and buy some damn shoes when I need to, that would be cool.
I'll get there right? Sure, it'll happen, I just have to keep climbing up that mountain. Everything will fall into place, with the right amount of effort and prayer. But in the meantime, this could get verrrrrry interesting!
Love,
Alice
Thursday, April 11, 2013
In a Barbie world.
Sometimes I just want to walk up to people and shake them. Just knock some sense into them. Wishing they wouldn't hide who they really are.
It isn’t about how many of your bones we can see, if your skirt is short or your shirt is sheer. It’s not. It’s about how you feel. Beauty is the smile that you wear when you walk down the street, the way you treat people, the things that you believe are important. The happiest people are not the ones who are starving themselves, they’re the one’s who are helping feed starving children in their hometown or in Africa because they believe it’s important one way or another. They’re not the one’s with perfect hair, they’re the one’s with crazy windblown hair because they just had the time of their life camping in the outdoors or riding rollercoasters or horseback riding. It’s not about skipping meals and showing skin, it’s about being you. Enjoying life. Smiling, laughing, being with your friends. The perfect guy won’t be looking for a Barbie, he’ll want to have fun. He’ll know your beauty when he sees it. it doesn’t matter what color your hair is, the tone of your skin, how much you weigh, how tall you are or how much money you have. Just be you, because that’s who you’re supposed to be.
Love,
Alice
It isn’t about how many of your bones we can see, if your skirt is short or your shirt is sheer. It’s not. It’s about how you feel. Beauty is the smile that you wear when you walk down the street, the way you treat people, the things that you believe are important. The happiest people are not the ones who are starving themselves, they’re the one’s who are helping feed starving children in their hometown or in Africa because they believe it’s important one way or another. They’re not the one’s with perfect hair, they’re the one’s with crazy windblown hair because they just had the time of their life camping in the outdoors or riding rollercoasters or horseback riding. It’s not about skipping meals and showing skin, it’s about being you. Enjoying life. Smiling, laughing, being with your friends. The perfect guy won’t be looking for a Barbie, he’ll want to have fun. He’ll know your beauty when he sees it. it doesn’t matter what color your hair is, the tone of your skin, how much you weigh, how tall you are or how much money you have. Just be you, because that’s who you’re supposed to be.
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Always choose waiting over settling, for the latter breeds misery.
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but rather a way of travelling."
Oh how I wish I could remember that more often! I may possible be the most impatient person that I know. Followed closely by everyone else that I know. I am not content to sit back and wait for things to happen, neither am I content to work and work and work and see no results.
That being said, when I'm not at work, I see it. When I'm out living life, spending time with friends and family and my fiance, doing what I love, I can't help but wish that those moments could last longer. That all of my little people could stay little, that I could keep all of the friends I have in one place, that my dog will live forever.
Little wishes, things that will fade away over time. Wishing that my friends could realize what they have before it's gone. Wishing that they'd dump lousy boyfriends and be happy again. Wishing that they would open their heart to how happy they could be if they only realized what truly mattered. Because in 50 years, I am not going to look back on my life and wish that I had more jobs. And most likely, neither are any of them.
And if you're miserable and you think that things will never get better, that's not entirely true either. Things will get better, you just have to keep working steady at it. One day you're just praying that things will get better, and the next day, it's happening. Simple as that. But if you're afraid that things will only get worse, that you'll lose what little sanity you have left, so you hold onto the lousy job and the angry boyfriend, things will never get better. Never settle for anything less than you deserve, and don't let anyone ever make you feel that you don't deserve what you want. If you want the college degree, make it happen. If you want to own a home, hop to it. If you want to get married someday but can't see yourself doing it with the guy (or girl) that you're with, then why are you wasting your time? No, these aren't things that will happen tomorrow, but if you want them, then you know what your end goal is. Focus on that. Let that get you through the day. Rely on the people who support you in what you want, not who only drag you down because they're not getting what they want either. Don't let negativity win.
Yes, I know life sucks sometimes, and it's hard, and it's a lot of work, and it's not always fun. But you're not here forever, you're not going to settle. You're going to go places. So read a book, dance around your room, watch a comedy, make out with your boyfriend, laugh with your friends, and just enjoy the little moments while they're here. Because happiness isn't a destination, it's a way of life.
"You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes and you can go wherever you choose. Things could happen and quite often do, to people as brainy and footsy as you!" -Dr. Suess
love,
Alice
Oh how I wish I could remember that more often! I may possible be the most impatient person that I know. Followed closely by everyone else that I know. I am not content to sit back and wait for things to happen, neither am I content to work and work and work and see no results.
That being said, when I'm not at work, I see it. When I'm out living life, spending time with friends and family and my fiance, doing what I love, I can't help but wish that those moments could last longer. That all of my little people could stay little, that I could keep all of the friends I have in one place, that my dog will live forever.
Little wishes, things that will fade away over time. Wishing that my friends could realize what they have before it's gone. Wishing that they'd dump lousy boyfriends and be happy again. Wishing that they would open their heart to how happy they could be if they only realized what truly mattered. Because in 50 years, I am not going to look back on my life and wish that I had more jobs. And most likely, neither are any of them.
And if you're miserable and you think that things will never get better, that's not entirely true either. Things will get better, you just have to keep working steady at it. One day you're just praying that things will get better, and the next day, it's happening. Simple as that. But if you're afraid that things will only get worse, that you'll lose what little sanity you have left, so you hold onto the lousy job and the angry boyfriend, things will never get better. Never settle for anything less than you deserve, and don't let anyone ever make you feel that you don't deserve what you want. If you want the college degree, make it happen. If you want to own a home, hop to it. If you want to get married someday but can't see yourself doing it with the guy (or girl) that you're with, then why are you wasting your time? No, these aren't things that will happen tomorrow, but if you want them, then you know what your end goal is. Focus on that. Let that get you through the day. Rely on the people who support you in what you want, not who only drag you down because they're not getting what they want either. Don't let negativity win.
Yes, I know life sucks sometimes, and it's hard, and it's a lot of work, and it's not always fun. But you're not here forever, you're not going to settle. You're going to go places. So read a book, dance around your room, watch a comedy, make out with your boyfriend, laugh with your friends, and just enjoy the little moments while they're here. Because happiness isn't a destination, it's a way of life.
"You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes and you can go wherever you choose. Things could happen and quite often do, to people as brainy and footsy as you!" -Dr. Suess
love,
Alice
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Too young, too broke, too happy, too desperate.
Fucking bitches.
So I'm getting married, right? Not because I want someone to take care of me forever. Not because I'm pregnant. Not because we live together. Not for a million other judgmental reasons that people are pulling out of their ass. Is it bad that I have a witty response to their totally inappropriate and intrusive questions?
What about the normal annoying questions? Can I see the ring, how's he propose, when's the wedding, how'd you meet, are you excited? Followed promptly by awww I'm so happy for you.
Seriously? Can I have more of that? More yay and less nay?
Who in their right mind thinks it's okay to ask these questions:
So when's the baby due?
Aw that's too bad, you had your whole life ahead of you.
To so-and-so? Or the other guy? Wait, who are you with again?
Why bother?
You're making a big mistake.
I hate my husband, don't get married.
That's a bad idea, you're going to regret it. So can I come to the wedding?
You're just going to get divorced.
Weddings are expensive, I thought you were too cheap to get married.
I can think of other girls who would be happier to marry him.
You're so lucky you're getting married, then you'll never have to work again.
Well at least if you get fired or something you can always divorce him and live off of alimony money.
But what if you find someone else? You're like, stuck with this guy if you marry him.
I always figured he'd find someone better than you.
No, not all of those are questions, some of them are just asinine statements of their unwelcome opinions. I'd love to say that that's it, but there's more. I just don't have any desire to relive them. Those are from extended family, friends I had in high school, unhappy coworkers, and the majority of them are from people in a church. Like at church.
What. The. Fuck.
Needless to say we're having an itty bitty wedding with happy, close friends only.
They don't understand, they're not in my life, they don't know my life inside and out. They weren't there for the precise, tiny, perfect moments that made me fall in love with the man that I'm fully assured that I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man that won me over with his smile and his humor and his dog. The man that I go adventuring with, the man that buys me cool whip when I'm miserable and hate everything, the man that watches Zombie movies with me, that goes shooting with me, that encourages me and makes me happy, the man who happens to be my best friend. For whom my love never strays, never falters, never believes anything other than the truth in him, for no matter what happens, no matter what people assume, no matter where we end up, we will end up there together. Because he is the one.
So everyone else can get over themselves.
Love,
Alice
So I'm getting married, right? Not because I want someone to take care of me forever. Not because I'm pregnant. Not because we live together. Not for a million other judgmental reasons that people are pulling out of their ass. Is it bad that I have a witty response to their totally inappropriate and intrusive questions?
What about the normal annoying questions? Can I see the ring, how's he propose, when's the wedding, how'd you meet, are you excited? Followed promptly by awww I'm so happy for you.
Seriously? Can I have more of that? More yay and less nay?
Who in their right mind thinks it's okay to ask these questions:
So when's the baby due?
Aw that's too bad, you had your whole life ahead of you.
To so-and-so? Or the other guy? Wait, who are you with again?
Why bother?
You're making a big mistake.
I hate my husband, don't get married.
That's a bad idea, you're going to regret it. So can I come to the wedding?
You're just going to get divorced.
Weddings are expensive, I thought you were too cheap to get married.
I can think of other girls who would be happier to marry him.
You're so lucky you're getting married, then you'll never have to work again.
Well at least if you get fired or something you can always divorce him and live off of alimony money.
But what if you find someone else? You're like, stuck with this guy if you marry him.
I always figured he'd find someone better than you.
No, not all of those are questions, some of them are just asinine statements of their unwelcome opinions. I'd love to say that that's it, but there's more. I just don't have any desire to relive them. Those are from extended family, friends I had in high school, unhappy coworkers, and the majority of them are from people in a church. Like at church.
What. The. Fuck.
Needless to say we're having an itty bitty wedding with happy, close friends only.
They don't understand, they're not in my life, they don't know my life inside and out. They weren't there for the precise, tiny, perfect moments that made me fall in love with the man that I'm fully assured that I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man that won me over with his smile and his humor and his dog. The man that I go adventuring with, the man that buys me cool whip when I'm miserable and hate everything, the man that watches Zombie movies with me, that goes shooting with me, that encourages me and makes me happy, the man who happens to be my best friend. For whom my love never strays, never falters, never believes anything other than the truth in him, for no matter what happens, no matter what people assume, no matter where we end up, we will end up there together. Because he is the one.
So everyone else can get over themselves.
Love,
Alice
Change.
I've been around the block enough times to know that you can't expect things to stay the same way forever. That friends will come and go whether you're kicking their lazy ass out or begging them to stay, that the control you think you have over circumstances is just a grand illusion built up by your mind to make you feel better about the choices that you made. Because everything is where it's supposed to be, right? Sure. I'd like to think so. I'd like to think that I'm paying my dues and that by the time I have a batch of my own hyper-confused, desperate children, that they'll wonder if I ever didn't have it all together. A girl can dream, right?
The one nice thing about change, is when it actually changes for the better. When you meet a new friend who reminds you what it's like to chill out with someone who doesn't know all of your dark secrets, but you'd like to think that if they knew, they still wouldn't judge you. The kind of friends that you can still get excited about things with, instead of mentally calculating how much each adventure is going to cost or where you're going to have to save their ass from this time. Friends that are there for you as much as you are for them, because lets face it; it sucks to help a friend all weekend, and then have them not return your calls when you're sitting at home sobbing because something went wrong. Or everything is wrong. Or someone died. You get my jist.
I'm aware that life is supposed to be full of constant reevaluation, that jobs and interests will change an whatnot, that the shitty jobs won't last forever, and the good ones might just get better. That adversity will challenge your character, and hopefully build it into a better one. A more faithful, loving, confident one.
Change is hard, but I feel like I need a lot more of it right now, and I'm praying and praying, and I see it happening little by little, but I'm still left wanting. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably. I sure feel like one.
Here's to things getting better, little by little
Love,
Alice
The one nice thing about change, is when it actually changes for the better. When you meet a new friend who reminds you what it's like to chill out with someone who doesn't know all of your dark secrets, but you'd like to think that if they knew, they still wouldn't judge you. The kind of friends that you can still get excited about things with, instead of mentally calculating how much each adventure is going to cost or where you're going to have to save their ass from this time. Friends that are there for you as much as you are for them, because lets face it; it sucks to help a friend all weekend, and then have them not return your calls when you're sitting at home sobbing because something went wrong. Or everything is wrong. Or someone died. You get my jist.
I'm aware that life is supposed to be full of constant reevaluation, that jobs and interests will change an whatnot, that the shitty jobs won't last forever, and the good ones might just get better. That adversity will challenge your character, and hopefully build it into a better one. A more faithful, loving, confident one.
Change is hard, but I feel like I need a lot more of it right now, and I'm praying and praying, and I see it happening little by little, but I'm still left wanting. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably. I sure feel like one.
Here's to things getting better, little by little
Love,
Alice
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