Pain without love

"Until we see someone's darkness, we don't really know who they are.  Until we forgive someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is."

I don't like thinking of the past.  Sometimes yes, but for the most part, I tend to just think of it as just everything I had to get through to get to where I am.  Everything from age ten to now.  Everything from the pessimism  the pain, the hurt, the climb, the heartbreak, the mistakes, the tears, the anger and frustration -everything that has caused me to doubt and want to give up that only pushed me further.  Those were not enjoyable years, there were years with enjoyable moments, but it didn't happen in a flash.  I'm glad those days are over, I'm glad that I can look back and say "at least I've survived."

There were days when I didn't know if I would survive.  Moments that caused me so much mental pain that I felt physically sick.  Days that I wouldn't even want to get out of bed.  Days that my teeny tiny brother had to sit on my bed and tell me that he would take care of me when I was sad, because he didn't want to see me cry anymore.

Moments and flashbacks that hurt, that make me cringe.  That also remind me that even though I have a tough past, I still have a future, and my future is very bright indeed. Don't give up.

Love,
Alice