Have-it-all Ln

Why hello blog, long time no see

It's not that I've forgotten about you (really, I haven't, promise) it's just that life has been crazy. I know, bitch bitch bitch. Is that all I do? If bitching was a competetive sport I'd be an olympic bitcher. Or maybe that's what they should call famous dog breeders, is that such a thing? Idk.

Anyhow, I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep, I think. And when I think, I think too much. And when I think too much, I naturally assume that everyone wants to know about all of my inner-babble, hence, ze blog. Full of babble and thinkage.

Right now, for instance, I am wondering if I really can have it all. I know, the "American dream" and all that jazz, of course I can have it all. Right? Sure, why not? Eh, cause life gets in the way. Somewhere on that one track mindset to "have-it-all lane", I get sidetracked onto "I'll-get-around-to-it avenue", take a left down "Work-until-I-forget-my-name street" and sooner or later I end up lost on "where-the-hell-am-I-and-how-the-hell-do-I-get-where-I-want-to-be boulevard". And what do I find there? A traffic jam. A traffic jam of all the other little rat racers trying to get to work, to pay their bills, to clear their name, to obliterate their debt, smothering out their dreams with a crushing immediate reality. A reality where dreamers snatch and fight over every small time promotion disguised as "opportunity" and the true dreamers think they've found an ext off of this godforsaken street, but really it's just a dark alley where they get mugged, cheated, stripped of all dignity and thrown back out into the street like a starving dog. Beaten back into the shape that the government truly wants you to be in: dirty little working rat shape.

Didn't I paint you a beautiful picture? Dirty little working rats, lost. But I have faith, that once I pay my dues on this fugly little boulevard, I can bring my dreams out into the open and no longer be lost. Someday I'll be able to make it to "have-it-all lane" and it won't be because I'm retiring in my little broken old rat body, it will be because I have pushed myself to be a better and stronger person, to turn my dreams into a reality and get rid of all the rest!
If you are one of the few who truly dream, don't ever let that go <3

Love,
Alice