Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Definitely, maybe.

"Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey. Love burns for longer, and warms you up on the inside, and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila just makes you wasted"

Something I heard a while ago, a quote that didn't come to my mind until recently.  When I realized that I know quite a few people, different age brackets, different stories, all with one goal in common; marriage.

Now, I'm thoroughly convinced that there are four kinds of marriage views: The ones who love it, and want to do it right away.  The ones who know that they want to get married at some point, but don't rush it.  The ones who hate marriage and often the opposite sex or whoever they might have ended up with.  Then there are the people whom the idea takes by surprise.

I'm in that second category   Of course I always looked at past boyfriends and wondered, but the minute I decided that there was no future there, I didn't stay to fool around just for the hell of it.  It was my life, and if they were not a friend and were not my future, then they really didn't play a part in my happiness.  Often this didn't always work out the way that I thought it would, but I'm happy the way that everything has.

Lately, it seems to me that it's a fad.  There's the brides that are super duper excited to get married and can't wait, loudly announcing every detail via social network, as well as it being the only subject that they're even remotely interested in talking about. Enough to send even the closest of friends running for the hills.

Then there are the ones who are doing it because they are soooooooo in love they think that they simply must get married. Blech. Just shut up already.

Then there are the ones who are together forever and you always kind of wonder if they're really get married or not, and then they do.  Which is great, obviously. For them, anyhow.

And that's just the thing, marriage is a huge freaking step.  It's not just the, hey-I-like-you-if-you-marry-me-then-we'll-stay-together-and-live-happily-ever-after mentality.  And it's definitely not one huge freaking party.

It's two people, who have decided through everything that they've been through, that they simply can't live without the other person.  It's bigger than love, sex, and romance.  It's about choosing to spend the rest of your life with your best friends.  That you will never replace them, that you will never lie to them, that you will never leave them, that you will always support them, that you will never stop loving them.  It's not fairy tale love.  It's real love.  It's running out to get ice cream in your pajamas at 11:00pm at night just because. It's through thin, fat, balding, old, tired, cranky, exhausted and everything else that life can throw at you.  It's moving wherever you end up and being okay with it because you're together.  It's waking up at 3:00am to take care of the baby because you know that your partner has to be up early for work.  It's working three jobs to make ends meet and still keeping a smile on your face.  It's opening a can of spaghetti-Os because niether of you wants to cook that night.  It's washing dishes because you know she hates it even more than you do.  It's just listening when the other person is mad, even when you want to yell back, because you know it won't get to the bottom of anything.  It's putting your partner above any other person, and letting them lean on you when they just can't take it any more.  It's knowing when to push an issue and when to leave it alone.  It's being okay with video games every night because damnit he needs to relax too.  It's not always pretty, it's not always perfect, but it's also never giving up. It's not tequila love, it's whiskey love.

Many people can say yes to love, many people can say yes to forever.  But not everybody can handle never giving up.  It's life people, face what you have, and make a choice.  If you know that you'll be happy in 75 years, because even when they make you made, you know that they're also the only person for you, then go for it.  If you imagine this perfect, amazing, nothing-ever-going-wrong life with your puppy-lover, then maybe you need to  reevaluate your plans.  Plans fall apart, marriage stays together.

Love,
Alice.

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