There's no time to watch Zombie Television anymore, I'm too busy actually being a zombie. Still not used to my new job yet, two paychecks in and it still kicks my butt to wake up at 6:30 in the morning and commute. Now for a lot of people who do this all of the time -I salute you. But I am only doing this 2 days a week. Mixed with my other job. And I'm not a morning person. And my coworkers are grave-robbing quiet. And it's boring. So essentially, I have become a total zombie six days out of the week -the day before I try to go to bed when I know what's coming, the day of when I can't wake up, and the day after when I'm totally exhausted. One day, I will have another job that I love. But for right now I am trapped. Trapped like a bird in a cage. Polly wanna cracker anyone? Yep. That's me. Zombie bird in a cage.
I keep wondering the fastest way that I can fix this, to not be so dependant on jobs that make me feel chained to a desk, but there is no quick fix for this. Just a long, slow, devastating process of keeping a firm grip on my money and reality. The nice thing about it is that it does allow me to focus on what matters, to really be greatful for my friends who understand because they're going through this too, and for my fiance who's there every step of the way. I know that things will all balance out eventually, and until then I will "just keep swimming"!
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Once.
So I have this theory: Only do something amazing once. Why? Because the second time you do it, your expectations will be so high that you will never be able to reach them. Similar to drug addicts:
They will spend the rest of their addict life chasing that first high. Not to say I'm addicted to one thing, but I'm in love with crazy fun expieriences. I've had a few that I wouldn't mind doing over, like going to New York -because something totally different is going to happen every single time that you go. It's called the city that never sleeps for a reason. Which is a lie by the way, the normal people are up from 6am to midnight, and from midnight to 6am there is deffinetly a crowd of people that you really don't want to ge to know.
But seriously, if you're going to go to a conference that totally blows your mind -don't ever go again. Don't tarnish the memory of something awesome with the expectation that it's going to top whatever happened last time. Especially since a year later, most of the small irritating things that happened will be forgotten and all of the good memories will take over. So you'll remember it even better than how it was in the moment, it's just the way our minds work.
That's why we have the big expieriences that really stand out, and the routine expiriences -like hitting a coffeeshop with your friends every saturday night. Some things are big wild memories, others you will always try again because they're as comforting as they are peaceful. So live your life, have your favorite hangouts and your favorite vacation spots, and take the big risks -but don't always expect it to be a fairy tale adventure.
Love,
Alice
They will spend the rest of their addict life chasing that first high. Not to say I'm addicted to one thing, but I'm in love with crazy fun expieriences. I've had a few that I wouldn't mind doing over, like going to New York -because something totally different is going to happen every single time that you go. It's called the city that never sleeps for a reason. Which is a lie by the way, the normal people are up from 6am to midnight, and from midnight to 6am there is deffinetly a crowd of people that you really don't want to ge to know.
But seriously, if you're going to go to a conference that totally blows your mind -don't ever go again. Don't tarnish the memory of something awesome with the expectation that it's going to top whatever happened last time. Especially since a year later, most of the small irritating things that happened will be forgotten and all of the good memories will take over. So you'll remember it even better than how it was in the moment, it's just the way our minds work.
That's why we have the big expieriences that really stand out, and the routine expiriences -like hitting a coffeeshop with your friends every saturday night. Some things are big wild memories, others you will always try again because they're as comforting as they are peaceful. So live your life, have your favorite hangouts and your favorite vacation spots, and take the big risks -but don't always expect it to be a fairy tale adventure.
Love,
Alice
Monday, October 8, 2012
Balance,
People need more balance. Too many people are crazy without any paticular way of learning self control or modesty, merely getting sucked into a desperate life of partying, drugs and alchohol. They don't have the emotional stability to make themselves or anyone else happy, they just continue to do what they know until they do not know how to even get help. The other half of this extremist theory? The people who are too careful. The ultra-modest, quiet, try-too-hard-to-be-perfect crowd, who ends up not being socially acceptable enough to find their way to happiness because they are either afraid or were never allowed to explore who they really are. Young people who are taught modesty and ultimate self respect are generally alright, but it's the extreme measures that restrict them from their true potential: When girls aren't allowed to wear pants, when boys aren't taught how to cook their own food, when boys and girls aren't allowed to be friends until their parents court them off and they have no idea how to behave around the opposite sex. These people either go through life wondering if that is all (except for the very small percentage that is actually thrilled with their life the way is) or they revolt entirerly. they become the very opposite, they rebel against their parents and lifestyle and begin to remove themselves from everything that they've learned. I was lucky enough to have parents who let me be whoever I wanted to be. They didn't have my college picked out for me, they didn't care where I wanted to live, they just let me explore. And that's how it should be. And if your parents were strict, then make a change in your own offspring, tell them that you'll love them no matter what. Because that's all that matters.
Love,
Alice
Love,
Alice
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Change.
I missed a day. I was blogless for a day. It seems unfortunate, yes. But I also have a life outside of blogging, so it was bound to happen sooner or later! I will fix this, but it has been a busy and stressful few days.
I've finally gotten around to watching the Presidential debate, and I thought it was fantastic. I'm not going to tell you know I'm voting for, but I know that I'm making the right choice. I also find politics fascinating, so that's probably part of it. I find it intellectually stimulating and it always bums me out a little bit when I try to speak with others in my generation about issues that matter and they only know about one stance on their politician of choice that they heard from someone else. I don't understand how you can live in America, take your freedom for granted, and not be interested in the direction that your country is headed in and how you can make a difference. Everyone holds the ability to make a difference, few people actually realize this. Even if you only make the difference in one person's life -what if they make a difference in someone else's life and so on and so on and the person at the end of the line becomes someone who truly makes a difference. It's a butterfly effect. One good deed comes back to you, multiple good deeds makes a difference. The same with negativity, because nothing helps a bad mood better than spreading it around.
Not to make this statement sounds as though it's referring to rumors, because that's much smaller than what I'm referring to. I'm saying that more people need to take time and stop complaining about things that bother them -stop complaining and make a change. A change in your life, a change in someone else's life, a change in your business, your community, all of it. Help someone out, plan a fundraiser for what you deem to be a worthy cause. Be the change you wish to see in the world, it sounds cliche but it's so true.
I can't stress this enough -no one else is going to change your life for you, rarely for the better anyhow. If you want more money, you have to apply for jobs. You can't expect your friend to ask for help, you normally have to ask them what you can do for them. You can't expect everyone else to know what you want out of your community, you have to vote. You cannot expect "Change" to come from your government if you haven't done your research on what that entails. The smallest deeds from adopting an animal to the larger deeds of running for a county supervisor position. Everything is important, whether you make a difference in a single life or an entire town. Volunteer, go on a mission trip, share your skills. Make a difference. Today.
Love,
Alice
I've finally gotten around to watching the Presidential debate, and I thought it was fantastic. I'm not going to tell you know I'm voting for, but I know that I'm making the right choice. I also find politics fascinating, so that's probably part of it. I find it intellectually stimulating and it always bums me out a little bit when I try to speak with others in my generation about issues that matter and they only know about one stance on their politician of choice that they heard from someone else. I don't understand how you can live in America, take your freedom for granted, and not be interested in the direction that your country is headed in and how you can make a difference. Everyone holds the ability to make a difference, few people actually realize this. Even if you only make the difference in one person's life -what if they make a difference in someone else's life and so on and so on and the person at the end of the line becomes someone who truly makes a difference. It's a butterfly effect. One good deed comes back to you, multiple good deeds makes a difference. The same with negativity, because nothing helps a bad mood better than spreading it around.
Not to make this statement sounds as though it's referring to rumors, because that's much smaller than what I'm referring to. I'm saying that more people need to take time and stop complaining about things that bother them -stop complaining and make a change. A change in your life, a change in someone else's life, a change in your business, your community, all of it. Help someone out, plan a fundraiser for what you deem to be a worthy cause. Be the change you wish to see in the world, it sounds cliche but it's so true.
I can't stress this enough -no one else is going to change your life for you, rarely for the better anyhow. If you want more money, you have to apply for jobs. You can't expect your friend to ask for help, you normally have to ask them what you can do for them. You can't expect everyone else to know what you want out of your community, you have to vote. You cannot expect "Change" to come from your government if you haven't done your research on what that entails. The smallest deeds from adopting an animal to the larger deeds of running for a county supervisor position. Everything is important, whether you make a difference in a single life or an entire town. Volunteer, go on a mission trip, share your skills. Make a difference. Today.
Love,
Alice
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Twitchy.
Some days I just don't quite know what to write. Other days I can't seem to get my brain to shut up and my brain and fingers attack the keyboard until I start paying attention and realize that they wrote a whole novel without me. It happens sometimes. Today is one of those days where I'm having difficulty in being at peace with where I'm at, I'm one of those people that likes half of her life to have a large amount of comforting stability, and the other half to be exciting and busy. And ideally both to be fulfilling. Lately, it's all mixed together, it's all crazy and busy but not exciting and almost not stable.
But of course everything is a process, and eventually the process will lead me to a place where I can happily grow in that direction instead of sitting idle and twiddling my thumbs. The hardest part is getting motivated; creating the excitement that I miss having around. Saving money and having a great time all the while, being crazy and fun and not getting hung up on the little things. Some day everything will fall into place, but in the meantime everything will fall all over the place. People fight, people push, people get depressed, and then they have to overcome all of it. So why hurt and cause pain when you could create memories and happiness? I s'pose this is one of those days where the post is short and sweet, as appose to my obnoxiously lengthy ones. But for now it will have to do, because I have some crazy to go out and create.
Love,
Alice
But of course everything is a process, and eventually the process will lead me to a place where I can happily grow in that direction instead of sitting idle and twiddling my thumbs. The hardest part is getting motivated; creating the excitement that I miss having around. Saving money and having a great time all the while, being crazy and fun and not getting hung up on the little things. Some day everything will fall into place, but in the meantime everything will fall all over the place. People fight, people push, people get depressed, and then they have to overcome all of it. So why hurt and cause pain when you could create memories and happiness? I s'pose this is one of those days where the post is short and sweet, as appose to my obnoxiously lengthy ones. But for now it will have to do, because I have some crazy to go out and create.
Love,
Alice
Monday, October 1, 2012
October.
I don't even know where to begin. Happy October 1st? That sounds about right. Hopefully this month starts going better than September! No more saying goodbye to best friends, feeling inadequate or horrible money issues. More optimism, more faith in it all, more being careful with my money! Or at least, getting paid. Getting paid would be nice. When you're waiting on someone to give you overdue money, it makes everything else get under your skin: Kids that are loud, dinner that burns on the stove, the laptop running out of power and dying on you, looking for your favorite shirt and realizing it's in the laundry, when your brother breaks a string on the guitar that you let him borrow. Teeney, tiny stupid things that happen throughout the day suddenly seem detremental to my mental wellbeing, and it's driving me nuts! Plus there's that whole new job thing, and the old one that's not working out so well, and the fact that I just might be looking for a new one soon anyways. We shall see. I'm going to come up with a little list of things that I want to do in October, maybe that will help keep things peppy. 1. Do a photoshoot with the girls. 2. Go on a movie date with my hunny. 3. Work on my fictional story some more. 4. Go to an open mic. whoo! Oh yeah, and do a halloween costume photo shoot with the kids on halloween. That will be one thing that will be awesome when I have my own kids, I can dress them up for halloween! Yay! Some of my best childhood memories, one of the few times of the year the entire extended family would get together and not hate each other. I hope that your month starts awesome, and continues to bless you for the next thirty days.
Love,
Alice
Love,
Alice
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