Thrive.

I have never in my life wanted to be the blonde blue eyes popular girl. I have been irritated by them, shunned by them, and occupational befriended by them, but never have I said if only I looked like her. If only I acted like her. If only I was her.

Never.

I wanted to be an artist, a cowgirl, a veterinarian, a musician, a singer, a photographer, a writer, a dreamer, a lover, a wild child. I wanted to be the girl with the crazy hair who traveled the world, who wore whatever she wanted and felt great all the time.

Life is funny that way.

I got some of what I wanted, never all, but some. I play guitar, I sing, I write when I have the time, I dream constantly, I photograph everything, I live.  I try to live freer than those around me, even if I'm not as free as I wish I was. What they don't tell you as a child is how hard it is to make a living while dreaming your dreams.

Luckily my parents always told me I could be whatever I wanted as long as I prepared myself. So I've done my best to take my strengths and make them profitable while exploring all of my fantasies.

While all of my friends are choosing careers or marriage or schools, I'm trying my best to not choose. I want to go through life with my best friend, my husband, working hard to make it dreams come true, to only have children when I've seen enough of the world that I can show them how to thrive by the Grace of God. I don't desire to have a degree, or the debt that comes with it. A high and mighty career, with the time constraints that chimes with it, or a marriage that loses its meaning somewhere between the two. I want love, and life, and enough money to make ends meet without worrying about what it not we have enough extra to buy new shoes when we need it.

I want to thank God that I have just enough, even if that's all. I want to be happy, I want to be free. I want to be me.

Love,
Alice

Small Town U.S.A.

This weekend is Labor Day. The last official barb-e-que weekend of Summer. It's funny, the older I get the less exciting Summer becomes. This summer, between work and 2nd-job hunting and hanging with my hunny and squeezing in time to see my friends, 3 months of hot weather just disappeared. I didn't even go swimming. I'm actually relieved that rain will be coming soon simply because of all the stupid fires we've been having this year. Twelve fires. Mother nature has let us down.

When I was a teenager, every new summer was an adventure. No one expected anything of me, volunteer summer jobs seemed like less work and more of a time to visit with co-workers and talk about everything that we had done the previous weekend. It was a time for flings, summer camps, short lived hobbies, weddings, road trips, local festivities and something new every weekend. When the summer ended at the County Fair on Labor Day weekend, it was like putting a dog to sleep. Everyone was devastated. And therefor September was awful being saddled with schoolwork once more and October was spent trying to figure out how to make the next summer even more epic.

That makes it sound as though my friends and I had no life. In fact, we actually did some cool stuff. Went on road trips at age 16 with my friends over Thanksgiving break (no idea what our folks were thinking, letting us take off like that.) we did some awesome photography together, played in the snow, swam in the creek in the middle of winter, we went horseback riding, we carpooled to the next County over because they had a shopping mall and we didn't. We spent our weekends singing in coffee shops and going out together. It wasn't a bad life, just a small town life. School. Work. Weekends. Repeat.

Now of course, those years are long gone. The only time I'll ever be close to those days again will probably be when my own teenage children get the summer bug and spend their days out with their friends. Then I'll feel really old. Now work is just a year long cycle, dates happen a few times a month and responsibility often gets in the way. Not bad problems to have, just adult problems. Too old to let my hair down, too young to get any respect. I'm at that funky middle age where I finally know what I want out of life -and now I need to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do on a day to day basis to get to that "rest of my life part". No college, remember? They don't write a manual on how to live your life without a degree. I get to write it by myself!

My Fiance' is making fun of the word "Blog." and we're debating who came up with the word. I must go and win this battle now. Good day!

Love,
Alice

30 To Life.

I'm not big on rules, making them, following them, anything like that. But through everything I've come across in life, I'll admit I've made a list of things I've discovered that really do count. Most of this applies to girls since, low and behold, I am one. But I think everybody could take a little something away from this list.

1. Take too many pictures.
2. Surround yourself with people who make you smile.
3. Work hard, play harder.
4. Never be afraid to sing at the top of your lungs.
5. Try to get along with everyone, but only keep your best friends closest.
6. Act like a lady, no matter what.
7. Nothing makes you feel smaller than a good adventure.
8. Things could always be worse.
9. there's a song for everything.
10. Some people are going to think that their problems are always bigger than yours, it's not worth your time to argue. Just walk away.
11. Sometimes the only thing that makes you feel free is riding a horse up in the mountains.
12. Wal-Mart was invented simply to run around and be crazy when it's too cold and wet to be crazy outside.
13. Sometimes life sucks, but everything will be okay in the end.
14. There is nothing more adorable than a little kid who knows how to smile at the little things in life.
15. Don't let people tell you what to wear, how to act or who you are. But listen to the people that you trust and hear what they have to say.
16. It's healthy to just ditch everything and take the day off sometimes.
17. Don't give up on people, but don't hang out with people who only make you feel bad about yourself.
18. Nothing conquers a bad mood quite like a five mile run and loud rock music.
19. Never underestimate the power of a long talk with a good friend.
20. There is always a second chance.
21. Enjoy the little things, especially when the whole world feels like it's spinning out of control.
22. Don't be afraid to take a stand for what you believe.
23. Pray before you go to bed, clear your mind and remind yourself that God is looking out for you.
24. You can't heal that empty spot in your chest by yourself. Everybody needs a little help sometimes.
25. Always have faith.
26. Don't lie.
27. Chocolate is a band-aid.
28. When a puppy licks your face, just let him. It's adorable, you can wash your face later.
29. It's okay to leave the house without makeup, less people care than you think.
30.Courage isn't always the loudest choice. Sometimes courage is just that little voice that says "I will try again tomorrow."

Love,
Alice