"Friendship isn't about being inseparable, it's being separated and nothing changes."
At age seventeen, I thought that this was like, the best friendship quote ever. But most seventeen year olds are stupid. Or at least, stupid about the things that they don't know out of lack of experience. They are experienced in the life that they know, in school and friends and petty dating and big dreams. But life? No. The ones that still believe that people are good until proven bad, that teenage boys who wear leather jackets and smoke pot are capable of life long love and commitment, that you don't need to save money because getting a job after college will be easy, and that the friends you have now will be your best friends for life.
Fuck that.
Now sure, people aren't all bad, nice boys can wear leather jackets too, getting a job will happen but not fast or easily, and one of those friends might stick around. One of these things probably happened to you, because just about everybody in my age group with a brain has admitted to one or two. (The others are all idiots or drug addicts.) But in reality, a teenager's view of reality changes them into who they're going to be based on how many times they get screwed over by those around them.
I still believe that there are good people out there, but they have to prove that they're good first. I am always suspicious. I was always a jaded, pessimistic child. None of that changed as I got older, I just learned that you can learn to trust people, but sometimes it will hurt when they fail you. Because everybody's going to fail you once or twice. Some people suck, and you don't give them a second chance to hurt you again, even if they apologize and you forgive them. Some people screw up, but you're both willing to figure it out. Wether a best friend makes a mistake, or someone you love doesn't know what to do, some people need help and you just move forward.
Most pot smoking, leather jacket wearing teenage boys will never grow up. They will get a job at a hardware store and a dog and a roommate and take some classes at the community college and be content to live a mediocre life of moderate broke-ass partying and a possible damnit-now-I'm-stuck-with-you marriage to the first girl that they happen to knock up. I mean, we always hope that they turn out better, but let's be serious. Move on. Get better taste in men. And grow up.
I think the money one is something that you only learn the hard way, when you're trying to pay a bill and you realize that it's either a night out with your friends ooooor paying that lovely cell phone bill. Or filling up your gas tank. Or that car insurance. Or a medical bill. Or some morbid combination of any and all of those. That's when you realize that you have to figure out your finances. Now, this wasn't always a problem for me, I was extremely careful with my money, I just happen to own a truck that needed work done, insurance paid, and over $250.00 to put in the gas tank budgeted every month between commuting and driving around. It all adds up. And the better job you have, the more money you make, the easier it is to pay your bills. It's easy enough to plan out, it takes some serious effort to implement, and I have it a little easier because I didn't go to college. I don't have student loans to drown in, and I'm a little ahead of the game trying to figure out where my life is headed. The college graduates who think that their life is going to fall together the day after they're done graduating? Cool story bro, let me know how that works out for you. And good luck, you're gonna need it.
Those friends that you grew up with? Yeah about that... Have you ever noticed that nothing ever adds up with them anymore? You tell a bunch of "remember when" stories, laugh about stuff that you had in common five years ago, drop your maturity level to the embarrassingly low point of where it was the last time you were close with that person, and hope to God that you decided to meet them at a restaurant so that you can fill the awkward silences with coffee or food or something. There's always that one person who want s to act like their life is better, even though they are as equally lame or worse off than you are. Whether they're telling you to get money to go to school cause that's how they're surviving, telling you about their roommate and the parties that they go to, or whatever place they traveled to last year, it all levels out. Nobody has their life together. The ones that do? The ones who've made a substantial difference. The one's who worked their way up the food chain, or got married, or bought a house, or started a family, or are sincerely happy with the direction that their life is headed. Those people are doing alright. Those are the friends that you congratulate, but unless you went through any one of those things right along side them, you probably still have those awkward silences. Because life is not a one-size-fits-all scenario, not in the least. Whatever is going on in your life, don't be ashamed about it and don't be an asshole about it. Never be too embarrassed or too proud of your life. It's your life. It doesn't matter where these people are or were, everything changes. Those friends that you had in high school? Hopefully they're doing great, but between college and jobs and life, I doubt you talk to them for an hour every single day like you used to. Hopefully you're still connected but don't try too hard if they're so opposite that you can't enjoy talking to them. Because people grow, and people change, and people mature. And some people don't. The ones that still go get hammered and party every weekend? Yeah, leave those behind. They'll catch up when they're ready.
I had some really fun friends in high school, and we had all had different dreams, and different plans, and we all laughed and cried and told each other that we'd all be best friends forever, no matter how far apart we were. We were all lying, we just didn't know it yet. And you know what, I absolutely love the friends I have right now. I have the best girl-friend a girl could have, we met when we were teenagers, but didn't actually become close till we were both out of high school. And I know that I can always count on her, because we've been through some tough growing-up moments that are a lot more important than things either of us dealt with in high school. Life changing things, that none of our other friends have ever had to deal with. And maybe someday we'll grow apart, but I hope that never happens, because she's one of the most important people in my life. If I stuck with my high school friends, I might not know her at all. And that would have sucked.
So all in all, don't hold onto things or people or ideals that don't want or need you anymore. Find new ones, appreciate the ones you have, move forward and don't look back. Don't feel bad, and don't put more effort into something that doesn't want to give any back. Just move on, and if you're lucky enough to be one of those people who completely embraces their differences, then don't ever change.
Love,
Alice
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Giving and giving up.
Question: is it better to stick by what you want when you've pretty much sacrificed your entire view of how you've envisioned things, or is it better to just continue to roll with things as though your previous plans had never existed? I know which is more reasonable, but which is better? To find a new plan, or to hold onto that last glimmer of hope that some part of your original dream might still remain in tact? Sure it's easy to just stand by and let life slowly begin to pass over your big dreams whilst you're still trying to get on your feet. And that's necessary sometimes. But forgetting about what makes you feel alive? Those moments where you just stand back and take absolutely everything in and feel just so amazingly blessed? Those moments shouldn't give way to more practical ones. Many things about our life are practical: money, vehicles, food, living spaces. But so many things about our lives have the potential to be recognized as truly amazing, a fact that we so rarely stop to take advantage of. I'm not talking about "rising to the occasion", so much as I'm insisting that you not give up on what you want because it seems so far out of reach. And most certainly not because it's currently inconvenient. Life is a miracle, treat it like one. Appreciate it like one. LIVE it like one.
Love,
Alice.
Love,
Alice.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Matthews.
Today is a day full of possibilities. And also irritation at how far behind I am in everything that I am trying to achieve. So naturally, it is a day of scripture for me. Today, I'm choosing to share my preference. Enjoy:
1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:
2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.
21 Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.
26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.
21 Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.
26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Food for thought.
Love,
Alice
Definitely, maybe.
"Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey. Love burns for longer, and warms you up on the inside, and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila just makes you wasted"
Something I heard a while ago, a quote that didn't come to my mind until recently. When I realized that I know quite a few people, different age brackets, different stories, all with one goal in common; marriage.
Now, I'm thoroughly convinced that there are four kinds of marriage views: The ones who love it, and want to do it right away. The ones who know that they want to get married at some point, but don't rush it. The ones who hate marriage and often the opposite sex or whoever they might have ended up with. Then there are the people whom the idea takes by surprise.
I'm in that second category Of course I always looked at past boyfriends and wondered, but the minute I decided that there was no future there, I didn't stay to fool around just for the hell of it. It was my life, and if they were not a friend and were not my future, then they really didn't play a part in my happiness. Often this didn't always work out the way that I thought it would, but I'm happy the way that everything has.
Lately, it seems to me that it's a fad. There's the brides that are super duper excited to get married and can't wait, loudly announcing every detail via social network, as well as it being the only subject that they're even remotely interested in talking about. Enough to send even the closest of friends running for the hills.
Then there are the ones who are doing it because they are soooooooo in love they think that they simply must get married. Blech. Just shut up already.
Then there are the ones who are together forever and you always kind of wonder if they're really get married or not, and then they do. Which is great, obviously. For them, anyhow.
And that's just the thing, marriage is a huge freaking step. It's not just the, hey-I-like-you-if-you-marry-me-then-we'll-stay-together-and-live-happily-ever-after mentality. And it's definitely not one huge freaking party.
It's two people, who have decided through everything that they've been through, that they simply can't live without the other person. It's bigger than love, sex, and romance. It's about choosing to spend the rest of your life with your best friends. That you will never replace them, that you will never lie to them, that you will never leave them, that you will always support them, that you will never stop loving them. It's not fairy tale love. It's real love. It's running out to get ice cream in your pajamas at 11:00pm at night just because. It's through thin, fat, balding, old, tired, cranky, exhausted and everything else that life can throw at you. It's moving wherever you end up and being okay with it because you're together. It's waking up at 3:00am to take care of the baby because you know that your partner has to be up early for work. It's working three jobs to make ends meet and still keeping a smile on your face. It's opening a can of spaghetti-Os because niether of you wants to cook that night. It's washing dishes because you know she hates it even more than you do. It's just listening when the other person is mad, even when you want to yell back, because you know it won't get to the bottom of anything. It's putting your partner above any other person, and letting them lean on you when they just can't take it any more. It's knowing when to push an issue and when to leave it alone. It's being okay with video games every night because damnit he needs to relax too. It's not always pretty, it's not always perfect, but it's also never giving up. It's not tequila love, it's whiskey love.
Many people can say yes to love, many people can say yes to forever. But not everybody can handle never giving up. It's life people, face what you have, and make a choice. If you know that you'll be happy in 75 years, because even when they make you made, you know that they're also the only person for you, then go for it. If you imagine this perfect, amazing, nothing-ever-going-wrong life with your puppy-lover, then maybe you need to reevaluate your plans. Plans fall apart, marriage stays together.
Love,
Alice.
Something I heard a while ago, a quote that didn't come to my mind until recently. When I realized that I know quite a few people, different age brackets, different stories, all with one goal in common; marriage.
Now, I'm thoroughly convinced that there are four kinds of marriage views: The ones who love it, and want to do it right away. The ones who know that they want to get married at some point, but don't rush it. The ones who hate marriage and often the opposite sex or whoever they might have ended up with. Then there are the people whom the idea takes by surprise.
I'm in that second category Of course I always looked at past boyfriends and wondered, but the minute I decided that there was no future there, I didn't stay to fool around just for the hell of it. It was my life, and if they were not a friend and were not my future, then they really didn't play a part in my happiness. Often this didn't always work out the way that I thought it would, but I'm happy the way that everything has.
Lately, it seems to me that it's a fad. There's the brides that are super duper excited to get married and can't wait, loudly announcing every detail via social network, as well as it being the only subject that they're even remotely interested in talking about. Enough to send even the closest of friends running for the hills.
Then there are the ones who are doing it because they are soooooooo in love they think that they simply must get married. Blech. Just shut up already.
Then there are the ones who are together forever and you always kind of wonder if they're really get married or not, and then they do. Which is great, obviously. For them, anyhow.
And that's just the thing, marriage is a huge freaking step. It's not just the, hey-I-like-you-if-you-marry-me-then-we'll-stay-together-and-live-happily-ever-after mentality. And it's definitely not one huge freaking party.
It's two people, who have decided through everything that they've been through, that they simply can't live without the other person. It's bigger than love, sex, and romance. It's about choosing to spend the rest of your life with your best friends. That you will never replace them, that you will never lie to them, that you will never leave them, that you will always support them, that you will never stop loving them. It's not fairy tale love. It's real love. It's running out to get ice cream in your pajamas at 11:00pm at night just because. It's through thin, fat, balding, old, tired, cranky, exhausted and everything else that life can throw at you. It's moving wherever you end up and being okay with it because you're together. It's waking up at 3:00am to take care of the baby because you know that your partner has to be up early for work. It's working three jobs to make ends meet and still keeping a smile on your face. It's opening a can of spaghetti-Os because niether of you wants to cook that night. It's washing dishes because you know she hates it even more than you do. It's just listening when the other person is mad, even when you want to yell back, because you know it won't get to the bottom of anything. It's putting your partner above any other person, and letting them lean on you when they just can't take it any more. It's knowing when to push an issue and when to leave it alone. It's being okay with video games every night because damnit he needs to relax too. It's not always pretty, it's not always perfect, but it's also never giving up. It's not tequila love, it's whiskey love.
Many people can say yes to love, many people can say yes to forever. But not everybody can handle never giving up. It's life people, face what you have, and make a choice. If you know that you'll be happy in 75 years, because even when they make you made, you know that they're also the only person for you, then go for it. If you imagine this perfect, amazing, nothing-ever-going-wrong life with your puppy-lover, then maybe you need to reevaluate your plans. Plans fall apart, marriage stays together.
Love,
Alice.
Awful Beautiful
Well, it's 2:45 AM here. A time when most people are either doing things that they'll regret later, or sleeping. Tonight, I fall into the boring in-between category the people who can't sleep to the point that they stop trying altogether and know that they'll regret it in the morning. What's keeping me up this late you might wonder?
Life. As always.
Today, in my standing that would be totally emotionally stable if it weren't for the fact that I'm clearly not. Today I came to many different realizations, and being on the verge of a head cold, made it a little harder to cope with.
Today I realized that I might possibly be moving twelve hours away from where I currently live now. With my fiance of course, for work related purposes. But still, twelve hours away just the same. A distance where it's cheaper to grab a plane ticket and fly to visit your friends than it is to just hop in the car and go grab coffee with them. Now, this isn't the kind of thing that normally sits at the front of my mind. I have very few "real" friends whom I would actually care to keep in contact with -but those very few, are extremely close to my heart. One, in particular I would miss so badly I can't even bear the thought of it at the moment. The sister I never had, who always makes my day better even when we're both in the worst moods imaginable Now of course this kind of devastation is silly, because my one true best friend, Mr. Right, will be moving with me. But he will be working, and busy, and whatnot, and it leaves me to know that I will have to certainly extend the minutes on my cell phone plan. And have to figure out how the hell Skype works. These matters are complicated further by the fact that none of it is set in stone, therefore I can niether plan on leaving or plan on staying. No job hunting, no major plans, no spending money. Hell, no buying leggings that I desperately need this week but next month I might not even need at all. Little issues that preoccupy my mind, the one part of my body with insomnia so severe I'm convinced that it has never, ever, slept.
Bigger than this whole what-direction-is-my-life-headed-in-and-where-will-I-end-up-and-who-will-I-keep-in-touch-with drama, is the second realization, that even if I do stay, my life will soon be completely different. That this period in my life won't last forever. This realization hit me twice today. Once when I was at work, when I realized that even though I bitch about every little detail about my job when I'm angry, I will really miss all of the funny inside jokes and moments with my fiance and coworker. And once this time in my life is over, it will be gone forever. Nothing more than a few well preserved memories and stories about eating dog food and such. (Don't ask.)
That left me wondering, if this won't last forever, then what could possibly come next? I left that thought alone when I left work, and it didn't return until I had fixed dinner and found myself Netflixing Hannah Montana, of all things. Watching a few innocently humorous TV episodes of that made me flashback to a time when the episodes were new. When I raised pigs and had a best friend who was quite young, who would get very excited when Hannah Montana would come on. When I practically lived at her house and I worked on a ranch and joked and laughed about everything constantly. A time that is so far gone I rarely think of it anymore. At the time, I wouldn't have changed a thing. In that moment, at that age, with those people, I was so happy. But things change. Moments pass, we get older, people change, happiness becomes harder to hold onto until you finally realize that the things that used to make you happy, don't amuse you at all anymore. That life hasn't become any worse than it was, only different. That it's not the world's fault, merely your taste in experience. That girl whom I held so dear, that place I used to never leave, those things I used to always do? Gone. I haven't talked to her in two years. And a year before that all we did was fight. I haven't been to that place in years, and those things I used to do hold no meaning anymore.
Do I miss it? No. I'm glad it happened, I'm glad I knew her, I'm glad for how it turned me into the woman I am today. But do I ever wish to go back to that time? Not a chance. In that brief flashback, I had hope. All of those things that mattered to me once, were just planning for a bigger and brighter future. As much as I resent change, hate things that don't go my way, and fear what I might lose, I also have faith. And my faith just so happens to be in a constant battle to be bigger than my fears. It's constantly battling, but it's also constantly winning. This particular time in my life is very special to me, as much as the pain an uncertainty get a grip on my confidence every single week, I also understand that this too shall pass, and I must cherish it. I have an amazing fiance, who works very hard and loves me very much, I have a best friend who means the world to me, I have friends whom I love to have fun with, I have a family that tries it's best to love and care even when the entire household hates each other. And I have the constant knowledge that I am blessed.
No matter how far I go, or how long I'm gone, or how many painful growing experiences those particular places hold, I will always be able to come home.
Be happy in this moment, for this moment is your life.
Love,
Alice.
Life. As always.
Today, in my standing that would be totally emotionally stable if it weren't for the fact that I'm clearly not. Today I came to many different realizations, and being on the verge of a head cold, made it a little harder to cope with.
Today I realized that I might possibly be moving twelve hours away from where I currently live now. With my fiance of course, for work related purposes. But still, twelve hours away just the same. A distance where it's cheaper to grab a plane ticket and fly to visit your friends than it is to just hop in the car and go grab coffee with them. Now, this isn't the kind of thing that normally sits at the front of my mind. I have very few "real" friends whom I would actually care to keep in contact with -but those very few, are extremely close to my heart. One, in particular I would miss so badly I can't even bear the thought of it at the moment. The sister I never had, who always makes my day better even when we're both in the worst moods imaginable Now of course this kind of devastation is silly, because my one true best friend, Mr. Right, will be moving with me. But he will be working, and busy, and whatnot, and it leaves me to know that I will have to certainly extend the minutes on my cell phone plan. And have to figure out how the hell Skype works. These matters are complicated further by the fact that none of it is set in stone, therefore I can niether plan on leaving or plan on staying. No job hunting, no major plans, no spending money. Hell, no buying leggings that I desperately need this week but next month I might not even need at all. Little issues that preoccupy my mind, the one part of my body with insomnia so severe I'm convinced that it has never, ever, slept.
Bigger than this whole what-direction-is-my-life-headed-in-and-where-will-I-end-up-and-who-will-I-keep-in-touch-with drama, is the second realization, that even if I do stay, my life will soon be completely different. That this period in my life won't last forever. This realization hit me twice today. Once when I was at work, when I realized that even though I bitch about every little detail about my job when I'm angry, I will really miss all of the funny inside jokes and moments with my fiance and coworker. And once this time in my life is over, it will be gone forever. Nothing more than a few well preserved memories and stories about eating dog food and such. (Don't ask.)
That left me wondering, if this won't last forever, then what could possibly come next? I left that thought alone when I left work, and it didn't return until I had fixed dinner and found myself Netflixing Hannah Montana, of all things. Watching a few innocently humorous TV episodes of that made me flashback to a time when the episodes were new. When I raised pigs and had a best friend who was quite young, who would get very excited when Hannah Montana would come on. When I practically lived at her house and I worked on a ranch and joked and laughed about everything constantly. A time that is so far gone I rarely think of it anymore. At the time, I wouldn't have changed a thing. In that moment, at that age, with those people, I was so happy. But things change. Moments pass, we get older, people change, happiness becomes harder to hold onto until you finally realize that the things that used to make you happy, don't amuse you at all anymore. That life hasn't become any worse than it was, only different. That it's not the world's fault, merely your taste in experience. That girl whom I held so dear, that place I used to never leave, those things I used to always do? Gone. I haven't talked to her in two years. And a year before that all we did was fight. I haven't been to that place in years, and those things I used to do hold no meaning anymore.
Do I miss it? No. I'm glad it happened, I'm glad I knew her, I'm glad for how it turned me into the woman I am today. But do I ever wish to go back to that time? Not a chance. In that brief flashback, I had hope. All of those things that mattered to me once, were just planning for a bigger and brighter future. As much as I resent change, hate things that don't go my way, and fear what I might lose, I also have faith. And my faith just so happens to be in a constant battle to be bigger than my fears. It's constantly battling, but it's also constantly winning. This particular time in my life is very special to me, as much as the pain an uncertainty get a grip on my confidence every single week, I also understand that this too shall pass, and I must cherish it. I have an amazing fiance, who works very hard and loves me very much, I have a best friend who means the world to me, I have friends whom I love to have fun with, I have a family that tries it's best to love and care even when the entire household hates each other. And I have the constant knowledge that I am blessed.
No matter how far I go, or how long I'm gone, or how many painful growing experiences those particular places hold, I will always be able to come home.
Be happy in this moment, for this moment is your life.
Love,
Alice.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
VOTE!
I voted today. I won't say for who, but I feel very strongly about it. Voting is one of those things that I urge people to do, because I spent the majority of my teenage years studying government. Not simply because I had to, but also because I enjoyed it. For years I considered a carreer in politics, not because of the parts that were corrupt, but because of the parts that truly make a difference. I went to countless representative and supervisor meetings, traveled to the capital of my state as well as the nation, learned about what it takes to become a citizen and passed that test, just to be sure that I knew everything there was to know about my Country. Because I feel very strongly about the United States of America, I love my Country. This is brief because today is very busy! Go vote!!!!
Love,
Alice
Love,
Alice
Monday, November 5, 2012
Peter Pan
We've all got one of those friends. You know the ones that I mean. The ones who just don't ever seem to grow up, the ones who cling to all of their high school friends so desperately that they have no idea what they want out of life. They cant be happy for your success, because you're further along than they are. And they can't be there for you when youre hurting, because in their mind their problems are still much worse than everyone elses.
I like to call this Peter Pan syndrome. Off to neverland where you never have to grow up. Yes I miss things about being a teenager. Things like summer camp and flexible work hours and that grace period between graduating high school early and getting a real career. But thats about it. I dont miss the drama, I dont miss the schoolwork and I dont miss being that young. Because being an adult is better. I have control. I have freedom. I can stay out till whenever and take off when I want to. Some day I'll take my own kids to summer camp and everything will have gone full circle.
Some day they might realize what I have already grown up enough to know; that summer is not an adventure, it isjust a season. Gas prices are just something that you live with and move on, not a crisis. And free time is never really free. Sure there are days where you stay in your pjs all day with a good book and a pot off coffee and a disney movie, but those days are few and far between. The rest are filled with work and laundry and bills and excersize and if youre lucky. Trying to help your friends with their own things to get done. Life is an adventure that never stops and I don't have to wait until June for that sense of excitement anymore. It's my life, and all I have to worry about is keeping the excitement alive and well.
I love the friends I have in my life with me right now, the ones who are going on their own life altering journeys right beside me. The ones who understand, and the ones who are going through harder stuff than I am. Because that what we do, we pick each other up, dust each other off, and keep on going.
I will probably hang out with my old high school friends now and then, but not often. Just to catch up and see how they're doing. To reminisce, but not to relive. That was the life that I had, not the life that I lead. And to be honest, if the person I am now were to go and relive those good times, I don't think they would have been remembered as being "good times". The stuff that you put out of your mind is what makes memories sweeter when you're having a hard day. I had years with a best friend that were amazing, but looking back to the gnarly day-to-day bits, we didn't always get along. I had some great adventures, but I'll have some even greater ones in the future. Maybe even tomorrow. So goodbye Peter Pan, I'll see you around.
Love,
Alice
I like to call this Peter Pan syndrome. Off to neverland where you never have to grow up. Yes I miss things about being a teenager. Things like summer camp and flexible work hours and that grace period between graduating high school early and getting a real career. But thats about it. I dont miss the drama, I dont miss the schoolwork and I dont miss being that young. Because being an adult is better. I have control. I have freedom. I can stay out till whenever and take off when I want to. Some day I'll take my own kids to summer camp and everything will have gone full circle.
Some day they might realize what I have already grown up enough to know; that summer is not an adventure, it isjust a season. Gas prices are just something that you live with and move on, not a crisis. And free time is never really free. Sure there are days where you stay in your pjs all day with a good book and a pot off coffee and a disney movie, but those days are few and far between. The rest are filled with work and laundry and bills and excersize and if youre lucky. Trying to help your friends with their own things to get done. Life is an adventure that never stops and I don't have to wait until June for that sense of excitement anymore. It's my life, and all I have to worry about is keeping the excitement alive and well.
I love the friends I have in my life with me right now, the ones who are going on their own life altering journeys right beside me. The ones who understand, and the ones who are going through harder stuff than I am. Because that what we do, we pick each other up, dust each other off, and keep on going.
I will probably hang out with my old high school friends now and then, but not often. Just to catch up and see how they're doing. To reminisce, but not to relive. That was the life that I had, not the life that I lead. And to be honest, if the person I am now were to go and relive those good times, I don't think they would have been remembered as being "good times". The stuff that you put out of your mind is what makes memories sweeter when you're having a hard day. I had years with a best friend that were amazing, but looking back to the gnarly day-to-day bits, we didn't always get along. I had some great adventures, but I'll have some even greater ones in the future. Maybe even tomorrow. So goodbye Peter Pan, I'll see you around.
Love,
Alice
Friday, November 2, 2012
Takin' Care Of Business
Okay, so obviously I'm not writing as much as I used to. And for that I am sorry. But that is the only apology that you are going to get from me, because it's my blog. Damnit. And I will write when I can.
Life has gotten a little crazier. That job that I was so excited that I got? I hate it. It's 8 hours of total boredom. I sit at a desk on a chair with no padding and do 8 hours worth of work in 2 hours, which leaves me 6 hours to invent crap to do. Today I retyped a six page contract just because I felt like it would be more fun than putting the title into an advanced computer search. I couldn't tell if this fact amused my boss or annoyed him, because he has a face of stone. He's not the guy I don't care for though. My boss is actually a nice guy, he's just one of those men that you're pretty sure has never smiled in his life. He says 3 sentences over the course of a day, and you wonder how he got the job of company CEO in the first place. However, today he gets a pass, because one of those 3 sentences was "Wake up." (demon words to my ears at 8:00AM, I assure you.) -he got me coffee. Now, it was dirt-like coffee from McDonalds while he was picking up my other coworker (long story) but still, it was a nice guesture.
My job is to rent buildings. Write up contracts. Answer phones. Make photo copies. At any other company it would seem that I was at the bottom of the food chain, but here at this job these are the exciting tasks. If something needs to be copied, I jump for the chance to move around the office. I'm not even sure why they hired me, to be honest. But a job is a job, and I just got paid today. So I will quit bitching. I will find a better job soon.
As a matter of fact, I actually interviewed for a new job on my lunch break. (I know, I'm a dirty whore of an employee. Interviewing for other jobs while I am, in fact, working an 8 hour shift.) But I have no shame, because the job that I interviewed for would be awesome, it's super flexible, part time, tons of fun, lots of working with kids and adults and talking and all good stuff. Teaching people leadership skills and communication. And guess what -I GOT THE JOB! Yay me!!! Now I am working 3 jobs... and when my seasonal job roles around in February... well, I'll probably have to let one of my jobs slide. And if I have to do it by fun meter, I will have to let my contract-writing-desk-sitting-building-renting job go. But I will be able to suck it up and take it like a man in the meantime. Hopefully. As my dad always says, it is better to have too much work and just enough money, than no job and not enough money. One day I will be able to work less and make more, but I have more dues to pay.
So now, lots of praying, lots of working, lots of hoping, lots of trying to squeeze in some quality time with my amazing fiance. I don't know how he manages to put up with my crap, my crazy schedule, and love me all at the same time. I am truly blessed.
God bless you all, have a thankful November.
Love,
Alice
Life has gotten a little crazier. That job that I was so excited that I got? I hate it. It's 8 hours of total boredom. I sit at a desk on a chair with no padding and do 8 hours worth of work in 2 hours, which leaves me 6 hours to invent crap to do. Today I retyped a six page contract just because I felt like it would be more fun than putting the title into an advanced computer search. I couldn't tell if this fact amused my boss or annoyed him, because he has a face of stone. He's not the guy I don't care for though. My boss is actually a nice guy, he's just one of those men that you're pretty sure has never smiled in his life. He says 3 sentences over the course of a day, and you wonder how he got the job of company CEO in the first place. However, today he gets a pass, because one of those 3 sentences was "Wake up." (demon words to my ears at 8:00AM, I assure you.) -he got me coffee. Now, it was dirt-like coffee from McDonalds while he was picking up my other coworker (long story) but still, it was a nice guesture.
My job is to rent buildings. Write up contracts. Answer phones. Make photo copies. At any other company it would seem that I was at the bottom of the food chain, but here at this job these are the exciting tasks. If something needs to be copied, I jump for the chance to move around the office. I'm not even sure why they hired me, to be honest. But a job is a job, and I just got paid today. So I will quit bitching. I will find a better job soon.
As a matter of fact, I actually interviewed for a new job on my lunch break. (I know, I'm a dirty whore of an employee. Interviewing for other jobs while I am, in fact, working an 8 hour shift.) But I have no shame, because the job that I interviewed for would be awesome, it's super flexible, part time, tons of fun, lots of working with kids and adults and talking and all good stuff. Teaching people leadership skills and communication. And guess what -I GOT THE JOB! Yay me!!! Now I am working 3 jobs... and when my seasonal job roles around in February... well, I'll probably have to let one of my jobs slide. And if I have to do it by fun meter, I will have to let my contract-writing-desk-sitting-building-renting job go. But I will be able to suck it up and take it like a man in the meantime. Hopefully. As my dad always says, it is better to have too much work and just enough money, than no job and not enough money. One day I will be able to work less and make more, but I have more dues to pay.
So now, lots of praying, lots of working, lots of hoping, lots of trying to squeeze in some quality time with my amazing fiance. I don't know how he manages to put up with my crap, my crazy schedule, and love me all at the same time. I am truly blessed.
God bless you all, have a thankful November.
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Braaaaains.......
There's no time to watch Zombie Television anymore, I'm too busy actually being a zombie. Still not used to my new job yet, two paychecks in and it still kicks my butt to wake up at 6:30 in the morning and commute. Now for a lot of people who do this all of the time -I salute you. But I am only doing this 2 days a week. Mixed with my other job. And I'm not a morning person. And my coworkers are grave-robbing quiet. And it's boring. So essentially, I have become a total zombie six days out of the week -the day before I try to go to bed when I know what's coming, the day of when I can't wake up, and the day after when I'm totally exhausted. One day, I will have another job that I love. But for right now I am trapped. Trapped like a bird in a cage. Polly wanna cracker anyone? Yep. That's me. Zombie bird in a cage.
I keep wondering the fastest way that I can fix this, to not be so dependant on jobs that make me feel chained to a desk, but there is no quick fix for this. Just a long, slow, devastating process of keeping a firm grip on my money and reality. The nice thing about it is that it does allow me to focus on what matters, to really be greatful for my friends who understand because they're going through this too, and for my fiance who's there every step of the way. I know that things will all balance out eventually, and until then I will "just keep swimming"!
Love,
Alice
I keep wondering the fastest way that I can fix this, to not be so dependant on jobs that make me feel chained to a desk, but there is no quick fix for this. Just a long, slow, devastating process of keeping a firm grip on my money and reality. The nice thing about it is that it does allow me to focus on what matters, to really be greatful for my friends who understand because they're going through this too, and for my fiance who's there every step of the way. I know that things will all balance out eventually, and until then I will "just keep swimming"!
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Once.
So I have this theory: Only do something amazing once. Why? Because the second time you do it, your expectations will be so high that you will never be able to reach them. Similar to drug addicts:
They will spend the rest of their addict life chasing that first high. Not to say I'm addicted to one thing, but I'm in love with crazy fun expieriences. I've had a few that I wouldn't mind doing over, like going to New York -because something totally different is going to happen every single time that you go. It's called the city that never sleeps for a reason. Which is a lie by the way, the normal people are up from 6am to midnight, and from midnight to 6am there is deffinetly a crowd of people that you really don't want to ge to know.
But seriously, if you're going to go to a conference that totally blows your mind -don't ever go again. Don't tarnish the memory of something awesome with the expectation that it's going to top whatever happened last time. Especially since a year later, most of the small irritating things that happened will be forgotten and all of the good memories will take over. So you'll remember it even better than how it was in the moment, it's just the way our minds work.
That's why we have the big expieriences that really stand out, and the routine expiriences -like hitting a coffeeshop with your friends every saturday night. Some things are big wild memories, others you will always try again because they're as comforting as they are peaceful. So live your life, have your favorite hangouts and your favorite vacation spots, and take the big risks -but don't always expect it to be a fairy tale adventure.
Love,
Alice
They will spend the rest of their addict life chasing that first high. Not to say I'm addicted to one thing, but I'm in love with crazy fun expieriences. I've had a few that I wouldn't mind doing over, like going to New York -because something totally different is going to happen every single time that you go. It's called the city that never sleeps for a reason. Which is a lie by the way, the normal people are up from 6am to midnight, and from midnight to 6am there is deffinetly a crowd of people that you really don't want to ge to know.
But seriously, if you're going to go to a conference that totally blows your mind -don't ever go again. Don't tarnish the memory of something awesome with the expectation that it's going to top whatever happened last time. Especially since a year later, most of the small irritating things that happened will be forgotten and all of the good memories will take over. So you'll remember it even better than how it was in the moment, it's just the way our minds work.
That's why we have the big expieriences that really stand out, and the routine expiriences -like hitting a coffeeshop with your friends every saturday night. Some things are big wild memories, others you will always try again because they're as comforting as they are peaceful. So live your life, have your favorite hangouts and your favorite vacation spots, and take the big risks -but don't always expect it to be a fairy tale adventure.
Love,
Alice
Monday, October 8, 2012
Balance,
People need more balance. Too many people are crazy without any paticular way of learning self control or modesty, merely getting sucked into a desperate life of partying, drugs and alchohol. They don't have the emotional stability to make themselves or anyone else happy, they just continue to do what they know until they do not know how to even get help. The other half of this extremist theory? The people who are too careful. The ultra-modest, quiet, try-too-hard-to-be-perfect crowd, who ends up not being socially acceptable enough to find their way to happiness because they are either afraid or were never allowed to explore who they really are. Young people who are taught modesty and ultimate self respect are generally alright, but it's the extreme measures that restrict them from their true potential: When girls aren't allowed to wear pants, when boys aren't taught how to cook their own food, when boys and girls aren't allowed to be friends until their parents court them off and they have no idea how to behave around the opposite sex. These people either go through life wondering if that is all (except for the very small percentage that is actually thrilled with their life the way is) or they revolt entirerly. they become the very opposite, they rebel against their parents and lifestyle and begin to remove themselves from everything that they've learned. I was lucky enough to have parents who let me be whoever I wanted to be. They didn't have my college picked out for me, they didn't care where I wanted to live, they just let me explore. And that's how it should be. And if your parents were strict, then make a change in your own offspring, tell them that you'll love them no matter what. Because that's all that matters.
Love,
Alice
Love,
Alice
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Change.
I missed a day. I was blogless for a day. It seems unfortunate, yes. But I also have a life outside of blogging, so it was bound to happen sooner or later! I will fix this, but it has been a busy and stressful few days.
I've finally gotten around to watching the Presidential debate, and I thought it was fantastic. I'm not going to tell you know I'm voting for, but I know that I'm making the right choice. I also find politics fascinating, so that's probably part of it. I find it intellectually stimulating and it always bums me out a little bit when I try to speak with others in my generation about issues that matter and they only know about one stance on their politician of choice that they heard from someone else. I don't understand how you can live in America, take your freedom for granted, and not be interested in the direction that your country is headed in and how you can make a difference. Everyone holds the ability to make a difference, few people actually realize this. Even if you only make the difference in one person's life -what if they make a difference in someone else's life and so on and so on and the person at the end of the line becomes someone who truly makes a difference. It's a butterfly effect. One good deed comes back to you, multiple good deeds makes a difference. The same with negativity, because nothing helps a bad mood better than spreading it around.
Not to make this statement sounds as though it's referring to rumors, because that's much smaller than what I'm referring to. I'm saying that more people need to take time and stop complaining about things that bother them -stop complaining and make a change. A change in your life, a change in someone else's life, a change in your business, your community, all of it. Help someone out, plan a fundraiser for what you deem to be a worthy cause. Be the change you wish to see in the world, it sounds cliche but it's so true.
I can't stress this enough -no one else is going to change your life for you, rarely for the better anyhow. If you want more money, you have to apply for jobs. You can't expect your friend to ask for help, you normally have to ask them what you can do for them. You can't expect everyone else to know what you want out of your community, you have to vote. You cannot expect "Change" to come from your government if you haven't done your research on what that entails. The smallest deeds from adopting an animal to the larger deeds of running for a county supervisor position. Everything is important, whether you make a difference in a single life or an entire town. Volunteer, go on a mission trip, share your skills. Make a difference. Today.
Love,
Alice
I've finally gotten around to watching the Presidential debate, and I thought it was fantastic. I'm not going to tell you know I'm voting for, but I know that I'm making the right choice. I also find politics fascinating, so that's probably part of it. I find it intellectually stimulating and it always bums me out a little bit when I try to speak with others in my generation about issues that matter and they only know about one stance on their politician of choice that they heard from someone else. I don't understand how you can live in America, take your freedom for granted, and not be interested in the direction that your country is headed in and how you can make a difference. Everyone holds the ability to make a difference, few people actually realize this. Even if you only make the difference in one person's life -what if they make a difference in someone else's life and so on and so on and the person at the end of the line becomes someone who truly makes a difference. It's a butterfly effect. One good deed comes back to you, multiple good deeds makes a difference. The same with negativity, because nothing helps a bad mood better than spreading it around.
Not to make this statement sounds as though it's referring to rumors, because that's much smaller than what I'm referring to. I'm saying that more people need to take time and stop complaining about things that bother them -stop complaining and make a change. A change in your life, a change in someone else's life, a change in your business, your community, all of it. Help someone out, plan a fundraiser for what you deem to be a worthy cause. Be the change you wish to see in the world, it sounds cliche but it's so true.
I can't stress this enough -no one else is going to change your life for you, rarely for the better anyhow. If you want more money, you have to apply for jobs. You can't expect your friend to ask for help, you normally have to ask them what you can do for them. You can't expect everyone else to know what you want out of your community, you have to vote. You cannot expect "Change" to come from your government if you haven't done your research on what that entails. The smallest deeds from adopting an animal to the larger deeds of running for a county supervisor position. Everything is important, whether you make a difference in a single life or an entire town. Volunteer, go on a mission trip, share your skills. Make a difference. Today.
Love,
Alice
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Twitchy.
Some days I just don't quite know what to write. Other days I can't seem to get my brain to shut up and my brain and fingers attack the keyboard until I start paying attention and realize that they wrote a whole novel without me. It happens sometimes. Today is one of those days where I'm having difficulty in being at peace with where I'm at, I'm one of those people that likes half of her life to have a large amount of comforting stability, and the other half to be exciting and busy. And ideally both to be fulfilling. Lately, it's all mixed together, it's all crazy and busy but not exciting and almost not stable.
But of course everything is a process, and eventually the process will lead me to a place where I can happily grow in that direction instead of sitting idle and twiddling my thumbs. The hardest part is getting motivated; creating the excitement that I miss having around. Saving money and having a great time all the while, being crazy and fun and not getting hung up on the little things. Some day everything will fall into place, but in the meantime everything will fall all over the place. People fight, people push, people get depressed, and then they have to overcome all of it. So why hurt and cause pain when you could create memories and happiness? I s'pose this is one of those days where the post is short and sweet, as appose to my obnoxiously lengthy ones. But for now it will have to do, because I have some crazy to go out and create.
Love,
Alice
But of course everything is a process, and eventually the process will lead me to a place where I can happily grow in that direction instead of sitting idle and twiddling my thumbs. The hardest part is getting motivated; creating the excitement that I miss having around. Saving money and having a great time all the while, being crazy and fun and not getting hung up on the little things. Some day everything will fall into place, but in the meantime everything will fall all over the place. People fight, people push, people get depressed, and then they have to overcome all of it. So why hurt and cause pain when you could create memories and happiness? I s'pose this is one of those days where the post is short and sweet, as appose to my obnoxiously lengthy ones. But for now it will have to do, because I have some crazy to go out and create.
Love,
Alice
Monday, October 1, 2012
October.
I don't even know where to begin. Happy October 1st? That sounds about right. Hopefully this month starts going better than September! No more saying goodbye to best friends, feeling inadequate or horrible money issues. More optimism, more faith in it all, more being careful with my money! Or at least, getting paid. Getting paid would be nice. When you're waiting on someone to give you overdue money, it makes everything else get under your skin: Kids that are loud, dinner that burns on the stove, the laptop running out of power and dying on you, looking for your favorite shirt and realizing it's in the laundry, when your brother breaks a string on the guitar that you let him borrow. Teeney, tiny stupid things that happen throughout the day suddenly seem detremental to my mental wellbeing, and it's driving me nuts! Plus there's that whole new job thing, and the old one that's not working out so well, and the fact that I just might be looking for a new one soon anyways. We shall see. I'm going to come up with a little list of things that I want to do in October, maybe that will help keep things peppy. 1. Do a photoshoot with the girls. 2. Go on a movie date with my hunny. 3. Work on my fictional story some more. 4. Go to an open mic. whoo! Oh yeah, and do a halloween costume photo shoot with the kids on halloween. That will be one thing that will be awesome when I have my own kids, I can dress them up for halloween! Yay! Some of my best childhood memories, one of the few times of the year the entire extended family would get together and not hate each other. I hope that your month starts awesome, and continues to bless you for the next thirty days.
Love,
Alice
Love,
Alice
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Struggles.
Everyone struggles, some people just hide their pain better than others. Every time you talk to someone on the street, see a person you know at church, or chat with your co-workers, we're all hiding something. Everyone has an issue, everyone has a bad habit, and everyone is insecure in some way. Some of these issues are things that you tell your friends, discuss with your partner, or maybe you just prefer to keep it all inside. It's really up to you, but I can tell you from personal expierience that sometimes it's better to just let it all out. Now I'm not talking about venting and totally ravaging someone's entire afternoon with your endless problems, but getting a second opinion is definetly more helpful. And a little venting isn't all that bad.
Some people struggle with rumors, some people struggle with faith, some people struggle with self control, some people's struggles are so deep that they don't know how to tell anyone that they even have a problem. Be sensetive, even if you don't really know how to help. Sometimes all these people need to know is that not everyone on this earth is a jerk. So be the not-jerk that proves it.
Love,
Alice
Some people struggle with rumors, some people struggle with faith, some people struggle with self control, some people's struggles are so deep that they don't know how to tell anyone that they even have a problem. Be sensetive, even if you don't really know how to help. Sometimes all these people need to know is that not everyone on this earth is a jerk. So be the not-jerk that proves it.
Love,
Alice
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Fearless.
You know what I love? That moment when you meet someone so completely and utterly awesome that even though you know that everyone must be jealous of them, you can't help but adore them. The people that make a real change, the ones who live their lives without fear of judgement or failure. People like that leave me in awe, they inspire me to take charge and be fearless too!
The actual definition of fearless? "Free from fear or brave." According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary that is.
Of course, the Urban Dictionary version is always entertaining: "Being able to stare at someone in the eye as they hold a rubber band wrapped around their hand in the shape of the gun and not flinch."
But I think that I kind of prefer the Taylor Swift definition better: "Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. It’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. Loving someone despite what people think is fearless. Allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright…that’s fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and Prince Charming's and happily ever after. Love is FEARLESS."
Yes, I know, totally lame for a blogger to merely quote others when she's supposed to be depicting her own view on life. So let me share my own view of what fearless means to me: Fearless is being able to wake up in the morning wearing tights under your ripped jeans, a baggy rock n' roll t-shirt, crazy bedhead and sunglasses with no make-up and feeling beautiful because you know it doesn't matter what other people think. Fearless is singing a song that you wrote from painful personal experience on stage in front of the world and not caring. Fearless is speaking your mind in front of a room full of people and being proud of it. Fearless is moving forward from the past even when you have no idea what the future brings. Fearless is traveling to new places and jumping in head first. Fearless is trying new things and being okay with the fact that you just might fail more than once. Fearless is hope, it's beautiful, it's never giving up because you know that tomorrow will be better.
I wish that I could be fearless more often, to not care what people say about me. One day soon I hope that I can look at myself in the mirror and feel completely happy about who I am and what I look like. One day. In the meantime, I am happy trying to get there, pushing a little harder, trying new things. One day I'll be fearless too.
Love,
Alice
The actual definition of fearless? "Free from fear or brave." According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary that is.
Of course, the Urban Dictionary version is always entertaining: "Being able to stare at someone in the eye as they hold a rubber band wrapped around their hand in the shape of the gun and not flinch."
But I think that I kind of prefer the Taylor Swift definition better: "Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. It’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. Loving someone despite what people think is fearless. Allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright…that’s fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and Prince Charming's and happily ever after. Love is FEARLESS."
Yes, I know, totally lame for a blogger to merely quote others when she's supposed to be depicting her own view on life. So let me share my own view of what fearless means to me: Fearless is being able to wake up in the morning wearing tights under your ripped jeans, a baggy rock n' roll t-shirt, crazy bedhead and sunglasses with no make-up and feeling beautiful because you know it doesn't matter what other people think. Fearless is singing a song that you wrote from painful personal experience on stage in front of the world and not caring. Fearless is speaking your mind in front of a room full of people and being proud of it. Fearless is moving forward from the past even when you have no idea what the future brings. Fearless is traveling to new places and jumping in head first. Fearless is trying new things and being okay with the fact that you just might fail more than once. Fearless is hope, it's beautiful, it's never giving up because you know that tomorrow will be better.
I wish that I could be fearless more often, to not care what people say about me. One day soon I hope that I can look at myself in the mirror and feel completely happy about who I am and what I look like. One day. In the meantime, I am happy trying to get there, pushing a little harder, trying new things. One day I'll be fearless too.
Love,
Alice
Friday, September 28, 2012
Blah.
I don't know quite what to say today. It's just one of those days where I feel completely lost in my own life, like I have no business living it. I don't know where I'm going, I don't even know where I stand sometimes. I used to write songs whenever I felt like that, but the words never come as easily anymore. It's just one of those days where you're not really sure what to do. You go to work, you come home, you flounder around. One of those days where you have to go to Wal-Mart just to remind yourself that you are not, in fact, at the very bottom of the social food chain.
It's on days like this that I should really stop trying to accomplish anything and just try to relax, to just remind myself that I am important. I often forget that, that I do matter. I don't generally think of myself as being something to devote time to -hence the reason that I leave clothes everywhere, forget to go to the library, or would rather buy things for other people instead of myself. Days where I should really pick up the bible and read a book or two, but instead having to realize that my mind might as well have a "Battery power low" emblem flashing on my fourhead -so I usually just paint my nails, watch Netflix or read a fashion magazine. Simple, mindless tasks. Maybe I'll go browse Pinterest if I care enough. Hopefully the mundane factor of it all will give me enough energy to lead a normal life tomorrow when I wake up. Because today I don't want to do anything.
I hope all y'all's day is more productive than mine!
Love,
Alice
It's on days like this that I should really stop trying to accomplish anything and just try to relax, to just remind myself that I am important. I often forget that, that I do matter. I don't generally think of myself as being something to devote time to -hence the reason that I leave clothes everywhere, forget to go to the library, or would rather buy things for other people instead of myself. Days where I should really pick up the bible and read a book or two, but instead having to realize that my mind might as well have a "Battery power low" emblem flashing on my fourhead -so I usually just paint my nails, watch Netflix or read a fashion magazine. Simple, mindless tasks. Maybe I'll go browse Pinterest if I care enough. Hopefully the mundane factor of it all will give me enough energy to lead a normal life tomorrow when I wake up. Because today I don't want to do anything.
I hope all y'all's day is more productive than mine!
Love,
Alice
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Speak now.
Beautiful words evoke emotion, that I very strongly believe. Some day I hope to be able to tell stories in a way that force people to stop and reflect, to think about things that they've never thought of before, to remember wonderful things that they had forgotten, to take them to a place that they've never dreamed of before. I want to be the person who shows them that new place in their mind, even if we never meet.
I wish that more people read books. Not just for educational purposes, but for satisfaction of the soul. Stories that take you away, poetry that creates beauty in things that you merely walk by on a normal day, novels that speak volumes about feelings that you didn't know that you had because you couldn't find the right words to express them.
I admire quiet people at times, for they always seem to be in tune with themselves. If more quiet people wrote down their thoughts and expressed themselves to the world, they could make such a difference. Even stories like Twilight that have grown into huge obnoxious franchises, started out as merely a story in someones mind that they hoped would reach out and touch people.
My Grandfather once told me to never be profane, for there were too many words in the world to use the same few out of frustration and laziness. He told me that I was too smart and creative to let myself fall into society's linguistically challenged trap. This always amused me, because he was a man who rarely spoke, but he did read and he kept a journal till the day he died. I would remember sitting next to the fireplace listening to him tell stories about my ancestors, riding across the country on horses, stories of him growing up in the south and on the run because of his father's criminal mob involvement. Listening to how he left and made a life for himself, hopefully one day my life's story will serve as at the very least entertainment for my own grandchildren.
People often think that their thoughts don't matter, a speculation that leaves us living our life day to day without giving us a chance to reflect properly or prepare for the future. I have little hope for future generations who do not have the sensibility to learn from the past through words, nor do they have the vocabulary to properly express themselves.
Hopefully some will learn the magic of reading, and spread the word little by little every day. Be one of those people.
Love,
Alice.
I wish that more people read books. Not just for educational purposes, but for satisfaction of the soul. Stories that take you away, poetry that creates beauty in things that you merely walk by on a normal day, novels that speak volumes about feelings that you didn't know that you had because you couldn't find the right words to express them.
I admire quiet people at times, for they always seem to be in tune with themselves. If more quiet people wrote down their thoughts and expressed themselves to the world, they could make such a difference. Even stories like Twilight that have grown into huge obnoxious franchises, started out as merely a story in someones mind that they hoped would reach out and touch people.
My Grandfather once told me to never be profane, for there were too many words in the world to use the same few out of frustration and laziness. He told me that I was too smart and creative to let myself fall into society's linguistically challenged trap. This always amused me, because he was a man who rarely spoke, but he did read and he kept a journal till the day he died. I would remember sitting next to the fireplace listening to him tell stories about my ancestors, riding across the country on horses, stories of him growing up in the south and on the run because of his father's criminal mob involvement. Listening to how he left and made a life for himself, hopefully one day my life's story will serve as at the very least entertainment for my own grandchildren.
People often think that their thoughts don't matter, a speculation that leaves us living our life day to day without giving us a chance to reflect properly or prepare for the future. I have little hope for future generations who do not have the sensibility to learn from the past through words, nor do they have the vocabulary to properly express themselves.
Hopefully some will learn the magic of reading, and spread the word little by little every day. Be one of those people.
Love,
Alice.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Maybe.
We all do it. We all look back, whether it’s looking back to last year or yesterday, we all look back and wonder what could’ve happened. Is it better that it happened and ended or to never happen and always wonder? There will always be a maybe. There will always be a slim chance that something could happen, there will always be a slim chance that something will go horribly wrong. And sometimes things go wrong, rarely all at once, but it does happen. People who you thought would always be there will let you down, people you love will hurt you, people you barely know can help you more than they will ever know in your time of need. And maybe sometimes all you need is to just push forward and leave it all behind.
Take care of the people you care about, let go of the people who don’t care about you. People you expect to leave you just might be there after all and the one person you thought you could count on forever will not only leave you but will push you down when you least expect it. Maybe no one is who they seem on the surface. Maybe everyone needs a second glance. Then the bad days keep on coming, but in order to have a good day, sometimes you have to have a bad day. It takes a bad day to recognize a good day, and sometimes it takes many long bad days to show you that maybe, just maybe you’re strong enough to hold on and push through. Bad days that show you who is willing to stand by you and tell you that maybe you’re an alright person after all.
Sometimes you need someone to hold your hand and you just blindly put your hand out and you don’t know who will hold you up. Love doesn’t mean dependency, it means caring for someone no matter what happens to them. But no matter what happens, you have to take care of yourself. You can’t always depend on someone else to listen to your problems or be there for you, but sometimes they will be there anyways. Company doesn’t always mean security, sometimes you feel more alone surrounded by people than you ever will in an empty room because it feels as though no one will ever understand what you’re going through. There is almost always one person who will be there for you when you need them -sometimes it’s just hard to figure out who that one person is. Once you figure that out, you’ll be okay. You learn to accept what you cannot change, with grace instead of grief. You learn that not everyone believes that things will work out and you have to choose to not let them tear you down. You learn to make plans only for today because tomorrow isn’t always a guarantee. You learn that you really can grow past things and learn to be okay with how things have worked out, even if you still wish they had somehow been different. You can’t go back to yesterday because whatever happened that made you wish you could go back has already changed you. You became different than who you were. Which is never a bad thing. You learn that you are stronger than you ever thought you were and that you can make your own way. You might not remember every hello but every goodbye will be seared into your mind, even if only one of you knows it’s actually goodbye.
Anything you do at any given moment will never cease to astound or offend someone. Something as simple from the way you dress to the music you listen to, to your religion or political standpoint can affect what people think. So you might as well just do what you want and say how you feel. You just have to realize who you are and how you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. You will change, and so will your friends, just because you don’t share opinions doesn’t mean you can’t love them -but they might not always be able to handle it. In which case you have to let them go. If they come back then they always cared, if they don’t then maybe they never really did care. We all make mistakes, we’ve all been known to say something that we regret later or that we don’t really mean. Sometimes you have a right to be angry, but you never have a right to be cruel. You are responsible for what you do, not matter how you feel at that moment, so learn to control your attitude before it controls you. Sometimes you have to move forward and let it go, even if it can’t be fixed. Forgiving yourself is different than forgiving someone else. It’s harder. Forgiving other people sometimes means you’re just tired of trying. Forgiving yourself takes time, and sometimes encouraging words from someone who can see the real you even when you can’t.
We all lay there at night sometimes and wonder what would have happened had we said something else, something that would have made everything better or changed how it would’ve happened. But you know what, all of those moments that we want to change even just a little bit were moments that we couldn’t have predicted even if we had tried. So maybe it’s time to just lay back and breathe and realize that whatever happened was bound to happen anyways regardless of how we handled it. Life happens, sometimes you just have to let it happen. 95% of the time, what we’re worried about is in the past or in the future, but at that moment we’re perfectly fine -we’re just thinking too hard. Life is 10% the hand you’re dealt and 90% how you react to it. Futures change and people fade, dream for tomorrow but live for today. This is me, this is all that’s I am, take it or leave it. Everything that has brought me this far has made me who I am, every mistake that I’ve made has shown me who I’m not -and it’s going to take me a very long time to become the person who I want to be. The same for you. Our background and circumstances influenced who we are, but we are still responsible for who we become. The happiest people in the world don’t have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything. So just roll with the punches, love the people that you’re with -and believe that everything happens for a reason.
Love,
Alice
Take care of the people you care about, let go of the people who don’t care about you. People you expect to leave you just might be there after all and the one person you thought you could count on forever will not only leave you but will push you down when you least expect it. Maybe no one is who they seem on the surface. Maybe everyone needs a second glance. Then the bad days keep on coming, but in order to have a good day, sometimes you have to have a bad day. It takes a bad day to recognize a good day, and sometimes it takes many long bad days to show you that maybe, just maybe you’re strong enough to hold on and push through. Bad days that show you who is willing to stand by you and tell you that maybe you’re an alright person after all.
Sometimes you need someone to hold your hand and you just blindly put your hand out and you don’t know who will hold you up. Love doesn’t mean dependency, it means caring for someone no matter what happens to them. But no matter what happens, you have to take care of yourself. You can’t always depend on someone else to listen to your problems or be there for you, but sometimes they will be there anyways. Company doesn’t always mean security, sometimes you feel more alone surrounded by people than you ever will in an empty room because it feels as though no one will ever understand what you’re going through. There is almost always one person who will be there for you when you need them -sometimes it’s just hard to figure out who that one person is. Once you figure that out, you’ll be okay. You learn to accept what you cannot change, with grace instead of grief. You learn that not everyone believes that things will work out and you have to choose to not let them tear you down. You learn to make plans only for today because tomorrow isn’t always a guarantee. You learn that you really can grow past things and learn to be okay with how things have worked out, even if you still wish they had somehow been different. You can’t go back to yesterday because whatever happened that made you wish you could go back has already changed you. You became different than who you were. Which is never a bad thing. You learn that you are stronger than you ever thought you were and that you can make your own way. You might not remember every hello but every goodbye will be seared into your mind, even if only one of you knows it’s actually goodbye.
Anything you do at any given moment will never cease to astound or offend someone. Something as simple from the way you dress to the music you listen to, to your religion or political standpoint can affect what people think. So you might as well just do what you want and say how you feel. You just have to realize who you are and how you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. You will change, and so will your friends, just because you don’t share opinions doesn’t mean you can’t love them -but they might not always be able to handle it. In which case you have to let them go. If they come back then they always cared, if they don’t then maybe they never really did care. We all make mistakes, we’ve all been known to say something that we regret later or that we don’t really mean. Sometimes you have a right to be angry, but you never have a right to be cruel. You are responsible for what you do, not matter how you feel at that moment, so learn to control your attitude before it controls you. Sometimes you have to move forward and let it go, even if it can’t be fixed. Forgiving yourself is different than forgiving someone else. It’s harder. Forgiving other people sometimes means you’re just tired of trying. Forgiving yourself takes time, and sometimes encouraging words from someone who can see the real you even when you can’t.
We all lay there at night sometimes and wonder what would have happened had we said something else, something that would have made everything better or changed how it would’ve happened. But you know what, all of those moments that we want to change even just a little bit were moments that we couldn’t have predicted even if we had tried. So maybe it’s time to just lay back and breathe and realize that whatever happened was bound to happen anyways regardless of how we handled it. Life happens, sometimes you just have to let it happen. 95% of the time, what we’re worried about is in the past or in the future, but at that moment we’re perfectly fine -we’re just thinking too hard. Life is 10% the hand you’re dealt and 90% how you react to it. Futures change and people fade, dream for tomorrow but live for today. This is me, this is all that’s I am, take it or leave it. Everything that has brought me this far has made me who I am, every mistake that I’ve made has shown me who I’m not -and it’s going to take me a very long time to become the person who I want to be. The same for you. Our background and circumstances influenced who we are, but we are still responsible for who we become. The happiest people in the world don’t have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything. So just roll with the punches, love the people that you’re with -and believe that everything happens for a reason.
Love,
Alice
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Fathers be good to your daughters, for daughters turn into lovers who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too.
Being a parent is tough stuff, I get that. No I'm not a parent, and I don't plan to be until I've lived my life and can happily dedicate every single day to my child. THEN, I will be a parent. I don't ever want to resent the tiny human that I'm raising to be a respectable member of society.
Parents are slacking off, it's obvious, or the word "Swag" wouldn't be as popular of a word as it is today. Girls today have the sense to idolize the strong femininity of Marilyn Monroe but lack the courage to even try to emulate her humor, innocence or outlook on life. Instead, they blend with their friends while they dress and act in a way that makes Record company CEOs produce songs that refer to them as "Bitchez and hos". That is the general population of the fourteen to nineteen age bracket for young women today. The ones who are strong and attractive and faithful in their own way? No one wants to talk about them, because they are quiet and deemed boring. Girls desperately want the love and respect of a man but don't know how to get it or how they actually deserve to be treated -hence the term "Daddy issues". They go looking for something, trying to prove a point, and should they loop a young man into their personal issues, they drag them down as well. Generally the young men are five to ten years older than they are, and fighting against their natural inner needs because they genuinely want to make the poor girl feel better. But it all goes down from there: Girl breaks up with guy, guy goes into downward tailspin, girl finds new guy who treats her badly, girl feels even lonelier, Dad still doesn't know why his daughter has problems and refuses to diagnose that it's actually all his fault. Yes, it all leads back to the parents.
The same with men. Mothers generally try to do the right thing, unlike men they are born with the need to take care of their children, a connection that takes a lot to break. But about half of the women in the country fall into something that declines their motherly skills, whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex, money, partying, or even a seemingly got-it-all-together woman who puts her career before her family. Their daughters will generally forgive them for their absence, and find their typical growing-up questions answered by Aunts, Grandmothers, friends or friends' moms. The girls become a little more loose, hoping for their mother's attention, but will still be okay. The sons of these women? The majority of them have "Mommy issues" -which stem from the lack of, well, mothering. Many women expect their sons to be more observant of their surrounding males, they expect them to be okay growing up and "do what boys do" and then suddenly expect them to become men while still treating them as though they are five. These boys usually do not find a mentor, or if they do then it's usually too late. They don't open up and ask questions, instead they follow their friend's lead -which generally means drugs, drinking, obscene language, inappropriate movies/t.v. shows/reading material, lack of respect for most adults and a harsh view of women. I'm not saying that all boys who resent their mothers have these qualities, just that their mothers need to realize that they are in charge of their sons first direction in life and solely responsible for his set of morals and view of women. Men who resent their mothers or who are forced to find their own way become players. They are surrounded by a society that will raise them to be men of the world, whether through college or military or a strong work enviorment. Their life is not in jeopardy, merely their character. Most of these men occasionally pursue relationships but always assuming that the women will leave or cheat or use them. The same with "daddy issue" girls, they all lack trust and faith in humanity.
Children need love, they need attention, they need guidance. I once heard a quote that suits the situation well: "When your children are young, listen to the little things that they say so that one day they will come to you with the big things. Why? Because in their mind, they were all big things." That saying rings true with many youth, because the need to feel needed starts very young. They don't just need to be told what to do, they need to be shown an example. Children love their parents, even when their parents screw up as they inevitably do. Children begin to resent their parents when they feel like a burden, forgotten, unwanted, unimportant -that's when they look for the attention that they need elsewhere.
Clearly this does not apply to all families, there are many families that know what is important, whether their family consists of one parent or two, with one child or many. Those children often don't see how lucky they are until they are seven and eight years old, when they develop a strong interest in not just their world, but the worlds of others. That's when they begin to realize how different all people live their lives.
Parenting is a hard, daunting task. A task that leaves many parents frustrated and exhausted beyond repair. It tears apart many marriages and ruins many careers, because it is a career in itself. Simple things to teach their children are still things that need to be repeated constantly. Fathers need to tell their daughters to respect themselves, to be happy, that one day they will meet someone, that they are beautiful and smart and can do anything. These are things that girls need to hear from their fathers, because often times their fathers are their sole example that good men exist in the world. They need to spend time with them, teach them how to fish and take them out on daddy/daughter dates and all those things. Mothers need to do the same things with their sons, to teach them to cook, to respect women, to stay clean, to tell them that they are handsome and smart and to do what is right and that they can do anything that they put their mind to. Parents are almost completely responsible for their children's confidence for the first fifteen to twenty years of their lives. It's vital that they start early.
I admire parents, I think that they are some of the toughest and most loving people on this planet. And for as many sad and desperate youth as there are in the country, there are many more who's mothers and fathers have really gone the extra mile. I hope when I'm finally a parent that my children will be proud of me one day, that I won't fall into the category of the parents who just never understand. All we can do is try, and never stop trying.
Love,
Alice
Parents are slacking off, it's obvious, or the word "Swag" wouldn't be as popular of a word as it is today. Girls today have the sense to idolize the strong femininity of Marilyn Monroe but lack the courage to even try to emulate her humor, innocence or outlook on life. Instead, they blend with their friends while they dress and act in a way that makes Record company CEOs produce songs that refer to them as "Bitchez and hos". That is the general population of the fourteen to nineteen age bracket for young women today. The ones who are strong and attractive and faithful in their own way? No one wants to talk about them, because they are quiet and deemed boring. Girls desperately want the love and respect of a man but don't know how to get it or how they actually deserve to be treated -hence the term "Daddy issues". They go looking for something, trying to prove a point, and should they loop a young man into their personal issues, they drag them down as well. Generally the young men are five to ten years older than they are, and fighting against their natural inner needs because they genuinely want to make the poor girl feel better. But it all goes down from there: Girl breaks up with guy, guy goes into downward tailspin, girl finds new guy who treats her badly, girl feels even lonelier, Dad still doesn't know why his daughter has problems and refuses to diagnose that it's actually all his fault. Yes, it all leads back to the parents.
The same with men. Mothers generally try to do the right thing, unlike men they are born with the need to take care of their children, a connection that takes a lot to break. But about half of the women in the country fall into something that declines their motherly skills, whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex, money, partying, or even a seemingly got-it-all-together woman who puts her career before her family. Their daughters will generally forgive them for their absence, and find their typical growing-up questions answered by Aunts, Grandmothers, friends or friends' moms. The girls become a little more loose, hoping for their mother's attention, but will still be okay. The sons of these women? The majority of them have "Mommy issues" -which stem from the lack of, well, mothering. Many women expect their sons to be more observant of their surrounding males, they expect them to be okay growing up and "do what boys do" and then suddenly expect them to become men while still treating them as though they are five. These boys usually do not find a mentor, or if they do then it's usually too late. They don't open up and ask questions, instead they follow their friend's lead -which generally means drugs, drinking, obscene language, inappropriate movies/t.v. shows/reading material, lack of respect for most adults and a harsh view of women. I'm not saying that all boys who resent their mothers have these qualities, just that their mothers need to realize that they are in charge of their sons first direction in life and solely responsible for his set of morals and view of women. Men who resent their mothers or who are forced to find their own way become players. They are surrounded by a society that will raise them to be men of the world, whether through college or military or a strong work enviorment. Their life is not in jeopardy, merely their character. Most of these men occasionally pursue relationships but always assuming that the women will leave or cheat or use them. The same with "daddy issue" girls, they all lack trust and faith in humanity.
Children need love, they need attention, they need guidance. I once heard a quote that suits the situation well: "When your children are young, listen to the little things that they say so that one day they will come to you with the big things. Why? Because in their mind, they were all big things." That saying rings true with many youth, because the need to feel needed starts very young. They don't just need to be told what to do, they need to be shown an example. Children love their parents, even when their parents screw up as they inevitably do. Children begin to resent their parents when they feel like a burden, forgotten, unwanted, unimportant -that's when they look for the attention that they need elsewhere.
Clearly this does not apply to all families, there are many families that know what is important, whether their family consists of one parent or two, with one child or many. Those children often don't see how lucky they are until they are seven and eight years old, when they develop a strong interest in not just their world, but the worlds of others. That's when they begin to realize how different all people live their lives.
Parenting is a hard, daunting task. A task that leaves many parents frustrated and exhausted beyond repair. It tears apart many marriages and ruins many careers, because it is a career in itself. Simple things to teach their children are still things that need to be repeated constantly. Fathers need to tell their daughters to respect themselves, to be happy, that one day they will meet someone, that they are beautiful and smart and can do anything. These are things that girls need to hear from their fathers, because often times their fathers are their sole example that good men exist in the world. They need to spend time with them, teach them how to fish and take them out on daddy/daughter dates and all those things. Mothers need to do the same things with their sons, to teach them to cook, to respect women, to stay clean, to tell them that they are handsome and smart and to do what is right and that they can do anything that they put their mind to. Parents are almost completely responsible for their children's confidence for the first fifteen to twenty years of their lives. It's vital that they start early.
I admire parents, I think that they are some of the toughest and most loving people on this planet. And for as many sad and desperate youth as there are in the country, there are many more who's mothers and fathers have really gone the extra mile. I hope when I'm finally a parent that my children will be proud of me one day, that I won't fall into the category of the parents who just never understand. All we can do is try, and never stop trying.
Love,
Alice
Run like the wind.
What do you do when you wake up? When you get home from work? In that little slot of time that belongs to you and only you? For me it usually includes coffee, blogging, facebook, about ten minutes of this little online city building game that I'm addicted to, browsing Pinterest, checking my e-mail, reading a book or any combination of those things. Occasionally it involves breakfast, and about half of the week it involves a good workout and a run.
I used to never run, not even a little bit. I would get winded and cranky and for a quarter of a mile and be done. Then when I was fifteen, my buddy's Dad got drunk and started making fun of me for my inability to run (what I failed to realize at the time was how stupid that was, because neither could he.) but it upset me, to the point where I pushed myself and started really running. Six months later I could run three seven-minute miles consecutively, I was constantly hungry and high on endorphins. Eventually I balanced it out and just ran as a workout, not to prove anything. I had new reasons that I wanted to run...
For normal people, these reasons include stereotypical things like feeling the wind in your hair, feeling like you're running away from everything, imagining running trails in the mountain, ultimate inner peace, stuff like that.
Me? I like running, because I know it's good for me, not because it's enjoyable. But what really comes to my mind when someone talks about running? Zombies.
Hear me out:
Of course I want to feel good in my skin, to regain energy, to inspire myself to be healthier. But seriously, I come from a family of loud men, and my fiance is no exception. We have a thing for watching Zombie television together, as twisted as it sounds, we get quite a kick out of it. The Walking Dead, Zombieland, Shawn Of The Dead, you name it. Every time I think of running on my treadmill (the hamster wheel, as it is affectionately known in my house) I think of that one scene in Zombieland where they list all of the rules and "Cardio" pops up as one of them. And then that fat kid gets totally eaten alive by zombies. I always thought that would be a horrible way to go, and when the apocalypse happens maybe I'll be able to outrun something that's trying to get me. So while outrunning zombies is not the most important thing on my motivational list, it is the most memorable.
I hope that your reasons are more sane than mine, but if they aren't, at least you're still running!
Love,
Alice
Monday, September 24, 2012
One day down.
Whoohoo! I survived my first day of work at my new job! And I am exhausted. It's not as though I was learning an entirely new skill set... just... a million new details. On the upside, I now have a retirement plan, so that's cool. Or it will be in thirty years when I collect from it. It's crazy and stressful and more exciting than the job I have now, and hopefully I get good enough at it that I actually start to really enjoy it. We shall see.
Not to be brief, but as I previously mentioned, I am exhausted. And my brain just doesn't seem to like me right now, it hasn't forgiven me for taking it to work with me. I'm going to have to bribe it to go back, maybe a triple espresso will do the trick... anyhow, I will speak to you tomorrow dearies.
Love,
Alice
Not to be brief, but as I previously mentioned, I am exhausted. And my brain just doesn't seem to like me right now, it hasn't forgiven me for taking it to work with me. I'm going to have to bribe it to go back, maybe a triple espresso will do the trick... anyhow, I will speak to you tomorrow dearies.
Love,
Alice
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Working for the weekend.
Tomorrow I start my new job! No, I'm not quitting my old job, I'm just working two jobs. Not sure how awesome that's going to be yet, but it won't be the first time that I've worked two jobs at once, so I can do it!
The nice part is that my new job is something that I've never done before, but aparently they thought I was qualified to do it, because they hired me. The scary part is... well, that I've never done it before. I honestly have no idea of what to expect, just the fact that they have lots of ideas of what I could do with it. So we shall see! I think I'm a little more excited than I am nervous... but they're battling it out in my head right now, nervousness may totally win by the end of the day. Not sure yet. And I have to find something to wear. Damn.
But that's the way life goes, and not knowing what to wear to my first day of my new job is a helluva lot better than wondering how I'm going to find the money to fill up my truck next week, so it's a problem I think I can live with. It's a new step in my life, I don't know yet if it's a big step or not, but it is a change. It's potentially a job that I could have for quite a while, so that's awesome, what with stability and all.
So we shall see... life changes all the time, and hopefully this will be a small change for the better! A little more money, a little more stuff to do, a little less stress, and a lot more prayer... so wish me luck!
Love,
Alice
The nice part is that my new job is something that I've never done before, but aparently they thought I was qualified to do it, because they hired me. The scary part is... well, that I've never done it before. I honestly have no idea of what to expect, just the fact that they have lots of ideas of what I could do with it. So we shall see! I think I'm a little more excited than I am nervous... but they're battling it out in my head right now, nervousness may totally win by the end of the day. Not sure yet. And I have to find something to wear. Damn.
But that's the way life goes, and not knowing what to wear to my first day of my new job is a helluva lot better than wondering how I'm going to find the money to fill up my truck next week, so it's a problem I think I can live with. It's a new step in my life, I don't know yet if it's a big step or not, but it is a change. It's potentially a job that I could have for quite a while, so that's awesome, what with stability and all.
So we shall see... life changes all the time, and hopefully this will be a small change for the better! A little more money, a little more stuff to do, a little less stress, and a lot more prayer... so wish me luck!
Love,
Alice
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Something old, something new...
As someone who's planning their own wedding, it's as exciting as it is exhausting. On one hand, how amazing would it be to throw a party to celebrate with all of our friends and family -on the other hand, how much simpler would it be to simply buy a pretty dress and elope. Viva Las Vegas anyone?
It's easy to get caught up in all of the ideas that you have, how you want everything to be, the colors, the food, the dress, the location, the ceremony, who's in the wedding party, who's invited. But in the end, a lot of the details aren't going to matter. You'll have pictures, memories, and a marriage -and you'll have that at whatever sized wedding you decide on, whether you elope or invite three hundred of your closest friends it's all the same at the end of the day.
I wasn't one of those little girls who played wedding with her barbies and had my princess wedding gown all planned out. My barbies were spies and secret agents, and I thought dresses were simply a horrible invention. Now of course, I have outgrown my "Dresses are evil and boys are icky" but I'm still left with the fact that I never imagined a dream wedding when I was a little girl. The only thing that I knew I wanted was that it had to be outside, and I wouldn't wear white. It seems scandelous that I resent white, but I'm so freaking pale that if you knew me you would know just how bad of an idea it really is for me to wear white. So I'm find something Ivory, champaigne or something like that and roll with it.
It's kind of crazy how nosey people get once you put a ring on it. Some people are super crazy happy for you, some people want to hear about the proposal, some people only want to know if they're invited to the wedding, some people assume that you're pregnant and an unfortunetly large number of people are totally unsuportive. Not like it's any of their business, but whatever. It's not up to them who I'm choosing to spend the rest of my life with, and I feel lucky; because he's my best friend.
It wasn't hard for my fiance and I to realize that we wanted a small wedding, nothing too fancy, just us and our closest friends and immidiate family, reguardless of what people think. I have my three best friends as my bridesmaids, it'll probably be a glammed up barbeque with a pretty ceremony, and that's about all I know. We sort of know where, but it almost doesn't matter to me, because I just want to be married. At this rate I probably wouldn't care if I got married at city hall, because you don't need to wait for that. I don't need a ballroom with a horse drawn carriage and a veil, I just need him. If I got married barefoot in a sundress I would be okay with that. The best piece of advice I've found? "It's a party, not a preformance. If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love, then everything was a success!"
That sounds just about right to me.
Love,
Alice
P.S.
Want to see real love? Click the link below, it's as heartbreaking as it is inspiring. A love story in twenty two pictures.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/txblacklabel/true-love-in-pictures-only-28m7
It's easy to get caught up in all of the ideas that you have, how you want everything to be, the colors, the food, the dress, the location, the ceremony, who's in the wedding party, who's invited. But in the end, a lot of the details aren't going to matter. You'll have pictures, memories, and a marriage -and you'll have that at whatever sized wedding you decide on, whether you elope or invite three hundred of your closest friends it's all the same at the end of the day.
I wasn't one of those little girls who played wedding with her barbies and had my princess wedding gown all planned out. My barbies were spies and secret agents, and I thought dresses were simply a horrible invention. Now of course, I have outgrown my "Dresses are evil and boys are icky" but I'm still left with the fact that I never imagined a dream wedding when I was a little girl. The only thing that I knew I wanted was that it had to be outside, and I wouldn't wear white. It seems scandelous that I resent white, but I'm so freaking pale that if you knew me you would know just how bad of an idea it really is for me to wear white. So I'm find something Ivory, champaigne or something like that and roll with it.
It's kind of crazy how nosey people get once you put a ring on it. Some people are super crazy happy for you, some people want to hear about the proposal, some people only want to know if they're invited to the wedding, some people assume that you're pregnant and an unfortunetly large number of people are totally unsuportive. Not like it's any of their business, but whatever. It's not up to them who I'm choosing to spend the rest of my life with, and I feel lucky; because he's my best friend.
It wasn't hard for my fiance and I to realize that we wanted a small wedding, nothing too fancy, just us and our closest friends and immidiate family, reguardless of what people think. I have my three best friends as my bridesmaids, it'll probably be a glammed up barbeque with a pretty ceremony, and that's about all I know. We sort of know where, but it almost doesn't matter to me, because I just want to be married. At this rate I probably wouldn't care if I got married at city hall, because you don't need to wait for that. I don't need a ballroom with a horse drawn carriage and a veil, I just need him. If I got married barefoot in a sundress I would be okay with that. The best piece of advice I've found? "It's a party, not a preformance. If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love, then everything was a success!"
That sounds just about right to me.
Love,
Alice
P.S.
Want to see real love? Click the link below, it's as heartbreaking as it is inspiring. A love story in twenty two pictures.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/txblacklabel/true-love-in-pictures-only-28m7
Friday, September 21, 2012
Promo time.
This is a girl whom I met through a Christian event, she's incredibly talented, a creative photographer, and and wonderful daughter of Christ who spends much of her time traveling around the world on missionairy trips. She is a true inspiration, and I urge you to read her blog:
http://adventuretimeforrex.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/a-brief-glimpse/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog
Love,
Alixe
http://adventuretimeforrex.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/a-brief-glimpse/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog
Love,
Alixe
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Bucket list part two
It's easy to get caught up in day to day life, to simply move from one task to another without actually fitting in an activity that you find mentally or physically stimulating, or better yet something that grows you as a person. Every year around this time I usually sit down and make a list of everything that I would like to do, places that I would like to go, and things that I would like to improve upon myself. I find it to be a healthy dose of reflection, where I can really focus on who I am and pull at my flaws and talents and dreams and see what I can make of myself. Think of it as a yearly bucket list, when I set short term goals, and throw in a few of my long term goals in life to keep it interesting. For example, this is a portion of my long term list:
Learn to play the piano
Create a scrapbook of every little thing I've ever saved -pictures, ticket stubs, brochures, maps, all of it!
Create a popular blog
have kids
learn how to surf
learn how to bartend
get a tattoo
kiss in the rain
visit the walk of fame
Have my own personal library in my home
Have a dog for it's entire life
Go clubbing
Dye my hair a wild color
Get married
Buy a house
So for this year, I'd think it's safe to say that out of my long term list I can possibly learn to play piano, create a popular blog (okay, maybe not so popular, but hey, I've got to start somewhere!), get a tattoo, kiss in the rain, and maybe even go clubbing. We shall see. And since I am engaged, somewhere in there I will get married, but I don't know yet if it'll be this year or next year or five years from now.
But of course those are my long term goals that I'm hoping to accomplish, for this year alone I have a more exact list:
-I would like to start playing guitar at coffee shops again, preforming on the weekends and whatnot. Because I truly miss it.
-I would like to keep in contact with one of my lovely best friends who is moving to another state.
-I would like to take better care of my body, to apply more focus to eating healthier and setting aside a little more time to work out.
-I would like to work on my relationship with God, to read my bible more frequently and maybe even find a new church that my hunny and I both enjoy going to.
-I would like to fix my car so that it doesn't make noises anymore.
-I would like to save up enough money to pay off the little debt that I have.
-I would like to move to a new house.
-I would like to plan my wedding with my hunny.
-I would like to write more often. Songs, stories, blogging, anything, as long as it focuses my mind and encourages the constant growth of my literal cortex.
-I would like to get better at Skyrim. Don't laugh. I like video games, and anyone can kick my butt at this game, which is not cool.
-But if that falls through then maybe I'll just get better at Marie Bros.
See? It's not that hard to make a list. I challenge you to do as I have done and really evaluate yourself: who you are, your talents, your friends, your job, everything -and make sure that you are headed in the right direction. Change what you can, actively work towards what you want, and pray for the best. Because you're worth it.
Love,
Alice
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Bucket list part one
People say that life is short, but it's the longest thing that I have going on right now, so I tend to disagree. But it's got me thinking, about all the places that I'd love to see before I die. Because as amazing as everything is in my life, there's still places on this earth that I think would be amazing.
First thing? Go on a road trip. Colorado -to see the sights and visit one of my best friends. Montana -Glacier National Park, searching for places to one day live. Niagra Falls, West Arlington in Vermont, and hitting Tennessee before turning around -Nashville, the Horace Burgess Treehouse, everything. There's so much history in that state, and since most of it is music related and music is my favorite thing... you do the math! Seeing New Orleans, because at some point in my life I want to go to Mardi Gras. Make our way through Texas -The Hamilton Pool Nature Reserve, The Alamo, Auston, Huston, and everything else! Deer Creek Canyon in Arizona's Grand Canyon National Park, and slowly make our way home. Just take a month off from everything and have the trip of a lifetime.
At some point in my life I'd like to take Route 66 -Probably something I'd do when I have kids, because you can learn alot from a trip like that!
Hawaii -I don't care how steritypical it is, I want to go. I've never been anywhere that's been considered even remotely tropical, I want to hike and surf and swim with dolphins and just have fun! Even if I have to go by myself.
Washington D.C. -I've been before, I've seen the Capitol and and the memorials, but there's so much rich living history that I feel like there's so much that I missed! I'd love to go again, it's such an expierience.
New York for the weekend-Robert Treman State Park in Ithaca, Broadway, Ellis Island, Grand Central Terminal, Central Park, Times Square, New York in the Fall, all of it.
Las Vegas, Nevada. Nuff' said.
L.A., California -Yes, I know, I've been there before. But doing actual normal L.A. things? Not so much. I would love to go back and really enjoy myself.
As for going out of the country, I have some other ideas:
Australia -Take two weeks with my hunny and see as much as we can: The great barrier reef, Sorrento Back beach, Kangaroo Island, See Newcastle, Go snorkeling, go on an outback road trip, the waterfalls, the opera house, possibly find P Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney? I think yes.
Portugal -Because I'm half Portuguese and I think it would be phenominal to go back to a country of origin. The same with Ireland and Scotland! An overseas trip of these three places is something I would love to do at some point in my life. I don't care if I'm seventy five when I finally go, I just think it would be incredible.
Rome, Italy -Piazza Campidoglio designed by Michalangelo, The Piazza Novana -home to two spectacular fountains designed by Bernini AND the church of Sant’Agnese, The Piazza di Spagna -the location of one of the most famous landmarks in Rome; the spanish steps, the stairway leading up to the Trinità dei Monti church and featuring a lovely fountain by Bernini. To take a picture of the colossal Colosseum on the Oppian Hill across from the Ruins of Trajan's Baths. The Temple of Vesta, The Mouth of Truth, The Pantheon, Santa Croce in Gerusalemme, the MAXXI Museum. Yes, someday.
France -Paris. The Eiffel tower, the Orsay Museum, The Notre Dame Cathederal, the Catacombs of Prais, The Town Hall, Lovely. Not for a long time, but maybe in ten years just to fly over and see the city in a weekend, that would be amazing.
The French Polynesian Islands. -Beautiful. I want to stay in one of those little huts on the water, how perfect would that be? My dream honeymoon location. Probably won't happen, but at some point I would love to see this place, maybe when I visit Australia.
Who knows when or how all of this will happen, but God didn't put me on this earth to sit in one spot, that much I know. Don't let your life hold you back, encourage yourself to live it!
Love,
Alice
First thing? Go on a road trip. Colorado -to see the sights and visit one of my best friends. Montana -Glacier National Park, searching for places to one day live. Niagra Falls, West Arlington in Vermont, and hitting Tennessee before turning around -Nashville, the Horace Burgess Treehouse, everything. There's so much history in that state, and since most of it is music related and music is my favorite thing... you do the math! Seeing New Orleans, because at some point in my life I want to go to Mardi Gras. Make our way through Texas -The Hamilton Pool Nature Reserve, The Alamo, Auston, Huston, and everything else! Deer Creek Canyon in Arizona's Grand Canyon National Park, and slowly make our way home. Just take a month off from everything and have the trip of a lifetime.
At some point in my life I'd like to take Route 66 -Probably something I'd do when I have kids, because you can learn alot from a trip like that!
Hawaii -I don't care how steritypical it is, I want to go. I've never been anywhere that's been considered even remotely tropical, I want to hike and surf and swim with dolphins and just have fun! Even if I have to go by myself.
Washington D.C. -I've been before, I've seen the Capitol and and the memorials, but there's so much rich living history that I feel like there's so much that I missed! I'd love to go again, it's such an expierience.
New York for the weekend-Robert Treman State Park in Ithaca, Broadway, Ellis Island, Grand Central Terminal, Central Park, Times Square, New York in the Fall, all of it.
Las Vegas, Nevada. Nuff' said.
L.A., California -Yes, I know, I've been there before. But doing actual normal L.A. things? Not so much. I would love to go back and really enjoy myself.
As for going out of the country, I have some other ideas:
Australia -Take two weeks with my hunny and see as much as we can: The great barrier reef, Sorrento Back beach, Kangaroo Island, See Newcastle, Go snorkeling, go on an outback road trip, the waterfalls, the opera house, possibly find P Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney? I think yes.
Portugal -Because I'm half Portuguese and I think it would be phenominal to go back to a country of origin. The same with Ireland and Scotland! An overseas trip of these three places is something I would love to do at some point in my life. I don't care if I'm seventy five when I finally go, I just think it would be incredible.
Rome, Italy -Piazza Campidoglio designed by Michalangelo, The Piazza Novana -home to two spectacular fountains designed by Bernini AND the church of Sant’Agnese, The Piazza di Spagna -the location of one of the most famous landmarks in Rome; the spanish steps, the stairway leading up to the Trinità dei Monti church and featuring a lovely fountain by Bernini. To take a picture of the colossal Colosseum on the Oppian Hill across from the Ruins of Trajan's Baths. The Temple of Vesta, The Mouth of Truth, The Pantheon, Santa Croce in Gerusalemme, the MAXXI Museum. Yes, someday.
France -Paris. The Eiffel tower, the Orsay Museum, The Notre Dame Cathederal, the Catacombs of Prais, The Town Hall, Lovely. Not for a long time, but maybe in ten years just to fly over and see the city in a weekend, that would be amazing.
The French Polynesian Islands. -Beautiful. I want to stay in one of those little huts on the water, how perfect would that be? My dream honeymoon location. Probably won't happen, but at some point I would love to see this place, maybe when I visit Australia.
Who knows when or how all of this will happen, but God didn't put me on this earth to sit in one spot, that much I know. Don't let your life hold you back, encourage yourself to live it!
Love,
Alice
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
One road town.
Have you ever noticed how the people who are the absolute most desperate to leave a small town are the people with no ability to do so. They have no college plans, military plans, travel plans or job plans. None. They just whine about their lives and want out and blame all of their shortcomings on their hometown -instead of coming to terms with their faults and creating a plan for their lives.
The biggest culprit of this lifestyle that appears to be so popular nowadays? Fear. Plain and simple. No one wants to get hurt, to be rejected, to lose money, to lose friends, or whatever other hangups they've created in their mind. Things that are all bound to happen if you, well, live your life. People that have these issues are also surprisingly unaware that these are the very things that are keeping them away from the life they so loudly desire. A life that they should very much go after and possibly have -if they gather up enough brain cells to get over themselves first.
No one is perfect, but the place that you live certainly isn't to blame for holding you back. It's to blame for your outlook on life, it's probably the reason that you're either innocent or jaded, and it's certainly the reason for most of your hobbies. But forcing you to stay? Really? No. The only person holding you back from leaving is you. People come up with countless excuses to stay when all they really want out of life is to leave.; they want to stay close to their family, their friends need them, their car isn't fun to ride in for long hours, they don't save up enough money, ect. ect. ect.
It's a lie. I was afraid to travel on an airplane, but I knew that I wanted to travel. So I got on one, and you know what -the scariest part about it was that stupid metal detector. But I made it out alive, and I can't wait to travel again. It wasn't the airplane's fault that I wasn't traveling before, it was me. I was holding myself back. So don't hold yourself back -go out for that job that you really want, even if you might not get it. Convince yourself to save up, because you're more important than the little things you spend money on. Your friends and family will be happy for your choices in life as long as you are happy, so don't saddle them with the excuse that they need you, because they will be just fine. You can always come home, just don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Love,
Alice
The biggest culprit of this lifestyle that appears to be so popular nowadays? Fear. Plain and simple. No one wants to get hurt, to be rejected, to lose money, to lose friends, or whatever other hangups they've created in their mind. Things that are all bound to happen if you, well, live your life. People that have these issues are also surprisingly unaware that these are the very things that are keeping them away from the life they so loudly desire. A life that they should very much go after and possibly have -if they gather up enough brain cells to get over themselves first.
No one is perfect, but the place that you live certainly isn't to blame for holding you back. It's to blame for your outlook on life, it's probably the reason that you're either innocent or jaded, and it's certainly the reason for most of your hobbies. But forcing you to stay? Really? No. The only person holding you back from leaving is you. People come up with countless excuses to stay when all they really want out of life is to leave.; they want to stay close to their family, their friends need them, their car isn't fun to ride in for long hours, they don't save up enough money, ect. ect. ect.
It's a lie. I was afraid to travel on an airplane, but I knew that I wanted to travel. So I got on one, and you know what -the scariest part about it was that stupid metal detector. But I made it out alive, and I can't wait to travel again. It wasn't the airplane's fault that I wasn't traveling before, it was me. I was holding myself back. So don't hold yourself back -go out for that job that you really want, even if you might not get it. Convince yourself to save up, because you're more important than the little things you spend money on. Your friends and family will be happy for your choices in life as long as you are happy, so don't saddle them with the excuse that they need you, because they will be just fine. You can always come home, just don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Love,
Alice
Monday, September 17, 2012
Be their light.
Helplessness, I believe I've merely touched on the matter that I despise that concept. That feeling of knowing that whatever happens, nothing that you do will help. Most times I can avoid that feeling, other times I feel like there's no way I can get away from it. Because helplessness simply breeds more helplessness, soon enough you're stuck in a hole.
In my case, it comes from sitting next to my best friend and even though we're having fun and talking and watching T.V., she's hurting. She's drowning in a pit of everything that's gone wrong, to a place where hope hides from you and waits for someone else to find it for you. A place where family breaks apart and home is a feeling that you can't remember and love is a myth. Love is a myth that's replaced with lies and angry words and repeats of "I'm sorry, I promise it'll never happen again baby". There's no comfort in that. And everything else goes wrong on top of that. Superficial wordly things that just add to the distress of everything else -cars, money, jobs, everything. Pretty soon you only listen to dark and angry music full of pain and profanity, because it's the only thing that will subdue the feelings. Before things go extreme.
That's where she is. Drowning. And even if I'm sitting right next to her, hugging her, telling her that everything will be okay and I'll never abandon her -sometimes it seems like I might as well be pounding on bulletproof glass while she sits inside the aquarium, deaf, with the water rising all around her. No amount of hope can find it's way into a cage like that. Hope floats, and sometimes you just don't have the strength to swim anymore. Sometimes drowning actually sounds kind of nice, because then you wouldn't have to hurt anymore. Then you wonder if anyone would care if you did drown. That's how these things happen.
All I can do is try to be there for her, try to be her rock in this windstorm. Try to show her that no matter how bad these things go, that life will improve. Things can always get better, and you don't have to let your own morals fall just because it's easier to blend in with your surroundings. You don't have to fail, even when you can't bear yourself to try anymore, you don't have to fail. Sometimes all I can do is pray for her, offer to help her in anything that she needs. Show her that she can succeed, and that people do love her. Because no matter how hard a day is, if you wake up the next morning then you are a success, because the Lord still has plans for you.
These are concepts that are difficult for many people to grasp; a pain and self loathing that runs so deep that you don't know how you got there and you don't know how to get out. Maybe you don't even care to get out. I've been there before, if enough pain and rejection and lies enter your life, you're bound to find that place. It's a dark place, sometimes people just can't find you before it's too late. Sometimes you forget that there is a plan for you, that you're alive for a reason. In a way you become the opposite of who you used to be, because all of the help that you've tried to give has been thrown back in your face, turning you into a selfish and self serving person -because naturally, no one can feel as hurt as you. Everyone is fighting their own battles, never underestimate the depth of someone's pain because you just might be their only hope.
Sometimes it's easy to assume that they will be okay, to simply pray that God will put someone in their life to help them and move on from the issue. But what if God put YOU in their life to help them? What if you are that one person, and you walk away. You can't walk away. You can push away the guilt and the feelings from it all, but what if they take extreme measures? What if they give up? Could you handle the guilt of knowing that you had a part in that? No. Very few people can. Do for them what you would want someone to do for you, should you ever find that dark place.
1 Corinthians 10:13:
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Matthew 11:28-30:
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."
Isaiah 41:10:
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Jeremiah 29:11-13:
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 'And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Be their light, don't give up. Show them that they're not alone.
Love,
Alice
In my case, it comes from sitting next to my best friend and even though we're having fun and talking and watching T.V., she's hurting. She's drowning in a pit of everything that's gone wrong, to a place where hope hides from you and waits for someone else to find it for you. A place where family breaks apart and home is a feeling that you can't remember and love is a myth. Love is a myth that's replaced with lies and angry words and repeats of "I'm sorry, I promise it'll never happen again baby". There's no comfort in that. And everything else goes wrong on top of that. Superficial wordly things that just add to the distress of everything else -cars, money, jobs, everything. Pretty soon you only listen to dark and angry music full of pain and profanity, because it's the only thing that will subdue the feelings. Before things go extreme.
That's where she is. Drowning. And even if I'm sitting right next to her, hugging her, telling her that everything will be okay and I'll never abandon her -sometimes it seems like I might as well be pounding on bulletproof glass while she sits inside the aquarium, deaf, with the water rising all around her. No amount of hope can find it's way into a cage like that. Hope floats, and sometimes you just don't have the strength to swim anymore. Sometimes drowning actually sounds kind of nice, because then you wouldn't have to hurt anymore. Then you wonder if anyone would care if you did drown. That's how these things happen.
All I can do is try to be there for her, try to be her rock in this windstorm. Try to show her that no matter how bad these things go, that life will improve. Things can always get better, and you don't have to let your own morals fall just because it's easier to blend in with your surroundings. You don't have to fail, even when you can't bear yourself to try anymore, you don't have to fail. Sometimes all I can do is pray for her, offer to help her in anything that she needs. Show her that she can succeed, and that people do love her. Because no matter how hard a day is, if you wake up the next morning then you are a success, because the Lord still has plans for you.
These are concepts that are difficult for many people to grasp; a pain and self loathing that runs so deep that you don't know how you got there and you don't know how to get out. Maybe you don't even care to get out. I've been there before, if enough pain and rejection and lies enter your life, you're bound to find that place. It's a dark place, sometimes people just can't find you before it's too late. Sometimes you forget that there is a plan for you, that you're alive for a reason. In a way you become the opposite of who you used to be, because all of the help that you've tried to give has been thrown back in your face, turning you into a selfish and self serving person -because naturally, no one can feel as hurt as you. Everyone is fighting their own battles, never underestimate the depth of someone's pain because you just might be their only hope.
Sometimes it's easy to assume that they will be okay, to simply pray that God will put someone in their life to help them and move on from the issue. But what if God put YOU in their life to help them? What if you are that one person, and you walk away. You can't walk away. You can push away the guilt and the feelings from it all, but what if they take extreme measures? What if they give up? Could you handle the guilt of knowing that you had a part in that? No. Very few people can. Do for them what you would want someone to do for you, should you ever find that dark place.
1 Corinthians 10:13:
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Matthew 11:28-30:
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."
Isaiah 41:10:
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Jeremiah 29:11-13:
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 'And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Be their light, don't give up. Show them that they're not alone.
Love,
Alice
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Back in time.
Do you ever wonder what you would have done differently as a teenager, if only someone had known what was really going on inside your head. If they had, maybe they would have been able to give you the advice that you truly needed to hear? Maybe you would've mande the right choices, maybe you wouldn't have been so depressed, maybe you would've treated someone much differently. I've been thinking this morning, about who I used to be. I wasn't a bad person, not at all, but I'm sure if I'd only known, things would not be as they are.
Dear seventeen year old me,
You're a bi-polar little weirdo aren't you? One minute you're thrilled with your newfound freedom and your life, and the next you're completely depressed. You know why that is? Because your friends are bi-polar little weirdos. Not all of them but two of them. Two girls that you're conviced will have your back forever, which isn't true. They're about to rip you apart out of jealousy, and it's going to hurt like a bitch. But you'll survive. In the end, they'll be the ones hurting and you will find other people who are healthier to be around. Guys and gals alike, who just want to hang out. Say goodbye to sleepovers, and hello to movie nights, drive ins, and taco bell runs. The best part? There will be no drama whatsoever. You'll love it.
Help out your family more, I know you hate living at home and are counting down the days till you can leave, but there's no need. Family is important, and they need you as much as you hate to admit you need them. You'll be fine, you'll even learn more patience. Unfortunetly, you will always hate washing dishes and cleaning the bathroom. Sorry about that.
I know you work out like it's a drug. But you need to take a break. You're only running five, six and sometimes seven miles a day because you're afraid of what people think of you. You can't outrun those people, and running like you're the Flash won't fix all of your problems. Keep working out, but tone it down a bit. Work out to feel good about yourself and your clothes, not to try to be as skinny as your tiny stick friend. It's just not going to happen.
I know you think that it doesn't matter what Music you listen to, that the amount of profanity in some songs isn't a problem, but it does matter. Because what goes into your head comes out your mouth, it changes the way you think and it dulls your senses. It makes awful language and subject matter go from exciting to just normal. Don't let that be your normal. Not that you can't ever listen to Disturbed or Eminem ever again, just... no.
It's okay that you don't like going to church, because you'll get over that. Those little hang-ups you have about church are because of how they treat your friends. And while it's good to be careful about how the people you love are treated, remember to see both sides of everything. They might have had their reasons. Plus, that's not why you go to church, as you'll soon find out. You go to worship God, not to deal with petty selfish people. Yes I know that you pray multiple times a day, but you just need to get over the fact that no church you ever go to will make you feel as good as the church you went to when you were growing up, it's an adult world now, everything's different. Don't let people and circumstances keep you from worshiping God.
Congratulations on graduation high school a year early! You worked your ass off for this, and you deserved it. Now that total moment of confusion over what to do with your life? That will get worse when you're eighteen, but then it'll be gone. One day you'll finally realize that you're okay and be at peace and you won't feel the pressures of life and everyone else. You'll be happy. Better yet, next year you'll discover one of your true passions: Travelling. Not just camping or hiking or going on training errands for the weekend, I mean really living. You'll take your first airplane and travel to Texas, Maryland, Washington D.C., Philadelphia Delaware, New Jersey and New York. You'll be hooked, you'll constantly be planning your next trip and you won't stop. You'll know what you want out of life: To play music, to be in love, and to see the world. A hippy romantic view on life, maybe, but it's worth it -because it's what you love. Never give up on that. Don't wait till you're old and dead, do it when you're young, when you're married, when you have kids, when you're retired, all of it. Live your life, don't let things like time and jobs hold you back. Make time, save money. Do it.
Thank you for not doing drugs, or wasting your reputation and health on stupid parties or getting wasted. Thank you for realizing that you deserve more than that. Thank you for not smoking pot even when you were terribly depressed and everyone told you that you should try it sometime.
Thank you for finally getting your freaking drivers license. Now, that wasn't so hard was it? Don't speed, even when you know you won't get caught. Driving is a priveledge, not a right. Don't text when driving, don't drink when driving.
Apreciate what you can, and be nice to everyone. You've seen the dark side of cancer, you saw the little girl whom you've known for ten years die a horrible year long death from her fight with cancer. You've worked with those kids and seen them die from illness and broken bodies. Take care of those around you, don't let them suffer. Don't move on when you see someone hurting, always offer to help them.
I know that you love the ranch that you're working on, but it won't last. Just remember that good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. And keep remembering that when you're working at that Toy Store for the next six months of your life. That's somewhere in the middle, it's a horrible job, but you do learn from it. And after you finally get the sense to quit, you get the best job that you could possibly ask for -great location, great pay, great boss. Things will get better!
That guy that you like? The one that you were dating for a while? Let it go. You were best friends for eight years, you could have still been best friends, but no. You guys had to go and start dating. It's going to end, it's going to be horrible, you're going to want to die, you're going to lose your other best friends at the same time, you're going to cry yourself to sleep every night, you're going to feel alone and desperate. You're going to write a lot of songs because of it. And just when you think it can't get much worse, you're going to have an asthma attack that nearly kills you. It will hurt so bad that you wish it would just kill you. But you'll get over it. You'll come home from the most expensive emergency room visit you've ever had, and you'll slowly get better. You'll reconnect with a girl who will slowly become your new best friend, even if it starts because you're both in horrible emotional pain. You're going to start singing again, and get really good and preform twice a week because you love it. You're going to dye your hair bright red and really figure out who you are. And when you do, you're going to love it.
And right when everything is finally coming together again after months upon months of growing pains, you're going to meet a guy who makes you laugh, and smile, and feel important. And I'll let you find out where that goes for yourself. But I promise, everything will be completely worth it. Just hang in there, work on your attitude, and don't give up. Whatever you do, don't give up. You're worth it, your dreams are worth it, your future's worth it. You're going to have a beautiful life, just keep it up!
Love,
Alice
Dear seventeen year old me,
You're a bi-polar little weirdo aren't you? One minute you're thrilled with your newfound freedom and your life, and the next you're completely depressed. You know why that is? Because your friends are bi-polar little weirdos. Not all of them but two of them. Two girls that you're conviced will have your back forever, which isn't true. They're about to rip you apart out of jealousy, and it's going to hurt like a bitch. But you'll survive. In the end, they'll be the ones hurting and you will find other people who are healthier to be around. Guys and gals alike, who just want to hang out. Say goodbye to sleepovers, and hello to movie nights, drive ins, and taco bell runs. The best part? There will be no drama whatsoever. You'll love it.
Help out your family more, I know you hate living at home and are counting down the days till you can leave, but there's no need. Family is important, and they need you as much as you hate to admit you need them. You'll be fine, you'll even learn more patience. Unfortunetly, you will always hate washing dishes and cleaning the bathroom. Sorry about that.
I know you work out like it's a drug. But you need to take a break. You're only running five, six and sometimes seven miles a day because you're afraid of what people think of you. You can't outrun those people, and running like you're the Flash won't fix all of your problems. Keep working out, but tone it down a bit. Work out to feel good about yourself and your clothes, not to try to be as skinny as your tiny stick friend. It's just not going to happen.
I know you think that it doesn't matter what Music you listen to, that the amount of profanity in some songs isn't a problem, but it does matter. Because what goes into your head comes out your mouth, it changes the way you think and it dulls your senses. It makes awful language and subject matter go from exciting to just normal. Don't let that be your normal. Not that you can't ever listen to Disturbed or Eminem ever again, just... no.
It's okay that you don't like going to church, because you'll get over that. Those little hang-ups you have about church are because of how they treat your friends. And while it's good to be careful about how the people you love are treated, remember to see both sides of everything. They might have had their reasons. Plus, that's not why you go to church, as you'll soon find out. You go to worship God, not to deal with petty selfish people. Yes I know that you pray multiple times a day, but you just need to get over the fact that no church you ever go to will make you feel as good as the church you went to when you were growing up, it's an adult world now, everything's different. Don't let people and circumstances keep you from worshiping God.
Congratulations on graduation high school a year early! You worked your ass off for this, and you deserved it. Now that total moment of confusion over what to do with your life? That will get worse when you're eighteen, but then it'll be gone. One day you'll finally realize that you're okay and be at peace and you won't feel the pressures of life and everyone else. You'll be happy. Better yet, next year you'll discover one of your true passions: Travelling. Not just camping or hiking or going on training errands for the weekend, I mean really living. You'll take your first airplane and travel to Texas, Maryland, Washington D.C., Philadelphia Delaware, New Jersey and New York. You'll be hooked, you'll constantly be planning your next trip and you won't stop. You'll know what you want out of life: To play music, to be in love, and to see the world. A hippy romantic view on life, maybe, but it's worth it -because it's what you love. Never give up on that. Don't wait till you're old and dead, do it when you're young, when you're married, when you have kids, when you're retired, all of it. Live your life, don't let things like time and jobs hold you back. Make time, save money. Do it.
Thank you for not doing drugs, or wasting your reputation and health on stupid parties or getting wasted. Thank you for realizing that you deserve more than that. Thank you for not smoking pot even when you were terribly depressed and everyone told you that you should try it sometime.
Thank you for finally getting your freaking drivers license. Now, that wasn't so hard was it? Don't speed, even when you know you won't get caught. Driving is a priveledge, not a right. Don't text when driving, don't drink when driving.
Apreciate what you can, and be nice to everyone. You've seen the dark side of cancer, you saw the little girl whom you've known for ten years die a horrible year long death from her fight with cancer. You've worked with those kids and seen them die from illness and broken bodies. Take care of those around you, don't let them suffer. Don't move on when you see someone hurting, always offer to help them.
I know that you love the ranch that you're working on, but it won't last. Just remember that good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. And keep remembering that when you're working at that Toy Store for the next six months of your life. That's somewhere in the middle, it's a horrible job, but you do learn from it. And after you finally get the sense to quit, you get the best job that you could possibly ask for -great location, great pay, great boss. Things will get better!
That guy that you like? The one that you were dating for a while? Let it go. You were best friends for eight years, you could have still been best friends, but no. You guys had to go and start dating. It's going to end, it's going to be horrible, you're going to want to die, you're going to lose your other best friends at the same time, you're going to cry yourself to sleep every night, you're going to feel alone and desperate. You're going to write a lot of songs because of it. And just when you think it can't get much worse, you're going to have an asthma attack that nearly kills you. It will hurt so bad that you wish it would just kill you. But you'll get over it. You'll come home from the most expensive emergency room visit you've ever had, and you'll slowly get better. You'll reconnect with a girl who will slowly become your new best friend, even if it starts because you're both in horrible emotional pain. You're going to start singing again, and get really good and preform twice a week because you love it. You're going to dye your hair bright red and really figure out who you are. And when you do, you're going to love it.
And right when everything is finally coming together again after months upon months of growing pains, you're going to meet a guy who makes you laugh, and smile, and feel important. And I'll let you find out where that goes for yourself. But I promise, everything will be completely worth it. Just hang in there, work on your attitude, and don't give up. Whatever you do, don't give up. You're worth it, your dreams are worth it, your future's worth it. You're going to have a beautiful life, just keep it up!
Love,
Alice
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Payday.
It's Saturday... prime day of the week for unneccisary spending. As a person who is currently making minamum wage, struggling to save cash, and actively ignoring the excessive clanking in my truck's engine that practically begs for a trip to the mechanics, needless to say I try to save as much money as I can.
Now I don't tend to think that I lead a high matience lifestyle, however I do have my vices. I like going out to eat, not often, but I like going out for chinese food. And coffee. Aside from the fact that I can easily make both of these things at home, it's still different. It's a whole expierience, getting out of the house and relaxing away from everything you have to do. Plus it makes for a great date night in if neither one of you want to cook, you just rent a movie and get takeout.
But still, even though I'm constantly searching for a second job, I have to make cuts now. So here are some of the things that I'm trying to do, even if I do not always succeed.
1. Attempt to pay off my credit card. Now, I don't have as big a credt card limit as a lot of other people, but debt is debt. And I really don't want mine. So I try to pay double my credit card bill, I pay the balance when it's due and then two weeks later I try to put down the same amount. It usually works, and it definetly helps.
2. Eat in. So this goes with the whole eat-chinese-food-and-drink-coffee-at-home thing. Chinese take-out is only $7.00 a meal if you get a lunch special, but every weekend adds up. Coffee on the other hand, if you like yours with extra expresso like I do, you could spend five bucks a pop. Not awesome. So even though although it would be awesome to cut out altogether, I still want to have a life. So once a month I usually do these things anyways. I want to save money, not become a miserable shut-in.
3. Thrift stores. They sound icky on contact, but there are much worse things than buying used. You're not always going to be unlucky enough to pick up herpes from a funky thirft store find. I'm not saying go to the thrift stores that smell like 109 year old women, just normal thrift stores where you can pick up books, music, movies, furniture and even clothes sometimes.
4. Library. Libraries are awesome, free entertainment that should really be utilized more! It's like shopping without money.
5. Shop online. Always google coupons and save codes for that site before you checkout, it's worth it!
6. Have a cash jar. All the extra change and loose $1s and $5s get put in the jar, I'm always surprised how it adds up after a few months.
So we shall see how this all goes, as much as I'd love to see a large sum of money in my bank account, I still like to have fun. However, saving money creates a great peace of mind. So hopefully I remember that next time I am out and about.
Love,
Alice
Now I don't tend to think that I lead a high matience lifestyle, however I do have my vices. I like going out to eat, not often, but I like going out for chinese food. And coffee. Aside from the fact that I can easily make both of these things at home, it's still different. It's a whole expierience, getting out of the house and relaxing away from everything you have to do. Plus it makes for a great date night in if neither one of you want to cook, you just rent a movie and get takeout.
But still, even though I'm constantly searching for a second job, I have to make cuts now. So here are some of the things that I'm trying to do, even if I do not always succeed.
1. Attempt to pay off my credit card. Now, I don't have as big a credt card limit as a lot of other people, but debt is debt. And I really don't want mine. So I try to pay double my credit card bill, I pay the balance when it's due and then two weeks later I try to put down the same amount. It usually works, and it definetly helps.
2. Eat in. So this goes with the whole eat-chinese-food-and-drink-coffee-at-home thing. Chinese take-out is only $7.00 a meal if you get a lunch special, but every weekend adds up. Coffee on the other hand, if you like yours with extra expresso like I do, you could spend five bucks a pop. Not awesome. So even though although it would be awesome to cut out altogether, I still want to have a life. So once a month I usually do these things anyways. I want to save money, not become a miserable shut-in.
3. Thrift stores. They sound icky on contact, but there are much worse things than buying used. You're not always going to be unlucky enough to pick up herpes from a funky thirft store find. I'm not saying go to the thrift stores that smell like 109 year old women, just normal thrift stores where you can pick up books, music, movies, furniture and even clothes sometimes.
4. Library. Libraries are awesome, free entertainment that should really be utilized more! It's like shopping without money.
5. Shop online. Always google coupons and save codes for that site before you checkout, it's worth it!
6. Have a cash jar. All the extra change and loose $1s and $5s get put in the jar, I'm always surprised how it adds up after a few months.
So we shall see how this all goes, as much as I'd love to see a large sum of money in my bank account, I still like to have fun. However, saving money creates a great peace of mind. So hopefully I remember that next time I am out and about.
Love,
Alice
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